TILL INFINITIES END

9. AARUSHI

I stared at the clock, making sound as each second passes. It had me in a lot of stress and pain that the house was suffocating in its silence. Not the calm quiet of a shared life, but a heavy, painful silence that pressed down on my heart. Our bedroom felt empty and cold, the echoes of our argument always lingered in the air. Varun barely spoke, and when he did, his voice was flat and lifeless. He had given up, and that was so clear. Seeing him having no interest in putting any efforts hurt more than any argument ever could.

I wanted to talk to Varun, to bridge the gap that had opened between us, but every time I tried, the words got stuck in my throat. How could I explain the depth of my pain without pushing him further away? I felt trapped in a cycle of silence and unspoken emotions, suffocating under the weight of our unspoken words.

I turned back again at my patient, as I applied the gel and ran the probe over Mrs. Mehta's belly. And there it was, the tiny little heartbeat of the baby looking so clear on the screen. My duty as a doctor demanded my full attention, and I couldn't let my patients see the cracks in my fascade. At the clinic, I found some comfort in my work.

"Can you see that ?" I point that out on the screen. Her face glows with happiness, and she looks up at me with gratitude in her eyes.

"Thank you, Dr. Aarushi," she said, her voice filled with emotion. "You've given me a family." and she holds my hand.

Her words pierced my heart. I smile, my eyes misting over as I looked at the woman before me. The truth of what made a family flickered deep within me. It wasn't just about love or happiness, but also about facing challenges together, and never giving up on each other. i just press her hand and give her a smile, reflecting that it was very special for me too.

"How are you feeling today, Mrs. Mehta?" I asked gently.

"Better, much better," Mrs. Mehta replied, placing a hand on her rounded belly. "I can't believe we're almost there. Just a few more weeks!"

I nodded, scanning through her monthly reports "yes. Everything looks good. Your blood pressure is stable, and the baby is developing perfectly. where's Mr. Mehta?" 

"He's off to New York, for some work." she said.

"But he should be here to take care of you and the baby. I mean, you're just three weeks away." i say as I sanitize my hands.

"He went early so that he could be with me when I go through labor. He preponed it for me. Plus it was a one day thing so I let him go, he's coming back tomorrow itself." she said and smiled.

"Oh, I see. Have you and your husband decided on a name yet?" I asked.

Mrs. Mehta's face lit up with a smile. "Yes, we have. if it's a boy, we are going to name him Anant and if it's a girl, We're going to name her Aanya."

I returned the smile, "They're really beautiful names, what do you wish for, a girl or a boy?"

She smiles and looks down, 'We love both the genders, but I would be very happy if it's a girl.' and pampers her belly, 'Daughters just...just light up the life.'

'Absolutely!" I help her get down the seat, 'also, they cause less trouble. trust me, I have both- a daughter and a son, and raising Tia- my daughter- was thousand times easier and stress-free than my son!'

She gives a little laugh, 'I'm sure it must be.'

I give her tissues to wipe off the gel, 'Your tentative date is 26th of this month. you have to be very careful now, also, increase your uptake of protein and calcium. and I think you'll be just fine!"

Mrs. Mehta's eyes shone with gratitude. "We couldn't have done this without you, Dr. Aarushi. You've given us so much more than medical care. You've given us a future."

How empty of me to know that I gave people families, and here am I, fighting to save my own.

My throat tightened, "You're welcome, I'm just glad I could help," I said softly, 'Take care of yourself and this little munchkin. I'll see you next week."

Mrs. Mehta beamed. "Thank you, Dr. Aarushi."

I watched her leave, feeling a flicker of hope amidst the sorrow. I really wished to find a way to build up what was broken, to bring our family back together. And that resolve, that glimmer of hope, was enough to keep me moving forward.

a call startles me amidst the thoughts and makes me look at the screen. it was Tia. Speak of the daughter and she calls.

"Hello?' I asked.

"Hello, Mumma?'

'Yes Tia? all okay?' I asked, as I again checked the time.

'Yes yes. Actually I called to ask if I can go out with Sam, to eat chaat?' she said.

'Right now?' I ask.

'Yes.' she says 'Please.'

'Tia it must be too hot outside. You may fall sick.' I said.

'Please Mumma...I promise I'll be back in half an hour to 45 minutes!' she said. 

'Okay. go.' I agree 'But don't roam here and there and be back to home by 3.'

'3:30.' she declares 'thank you love you byeeee!!' and the phone is already hung up before i could even speak. such a boss-lady she is! I smiled at it. Like, when I was her age, I wouldn't even dare talk to ask Mumma again about something she already declined.

I look at Tia and Vyom's photo frame on my desk, and think that if not for me, I have to do this for them. I need to talk to Varun about it. I knew that the path ahead would be difficult, but for the first time in days, I felt a flicker of hope. 

"Next," I called out, and waited for the patient to enter.