TILL INFINITIES END

45. TIA

My legs were shaking, literally shaking, as our car reached the airport. I tried to gather the courage to look at him, and to finally see him off. I finally had to bid a bye to the person whose face I wanted to see forever. Each and every vein of my body got poisoned with chills just by thinking about it, I'm afraid how will I face it in when it comes in front of me?

Mumma and I got down from the car after parking and began walking towards the departure platform. I looked at the watch, realizing I was late. I've never been late in my entire life, rather, I don't PREFER to be late, but today, I wanted to be late, I needed some more time before I finally face the bitter reality.

Letting anyone go from your life is like... removing one of the thousand stars in the sky... but letting go of someone you love, is like a sky without the moon, you have thousands of shining stars, but you keep on searching for that little white circular patch amidst the dark clouds and sky. For me, that moon was Sam, and he is leaving...ouch!

As I got down from the car, I turned my gaze towards the platform to find Sam within all the people standing over there. And, it didn't take me even a second to find him near the departure. He wore the loose blue t shirt and light gray track pant. I feebly smiled; these were his favorite clothes, like FAVORITE! Walk into his house anytime uninformed and you'll find him in these clothes! I had met him like- yesterday, but still today he looked different. This feeling was different.

The nostalgia hit me straight on my chest and the moment I saw him, a voice echoed in my mind 'fuck. He's leaving.... He's leaving!!'

thank you nostalgia, for making this even tougher for me.

It's not that this was something unexpected, I had prepared myself for this since quite some time, but it hit me so really hard that all the strength I had gained to face him had flushed out by then.

And anyway, who has ever been so strong to let go of the person they love? Even if they walk away, or you walk away from them, their memories stay, showing up each time your heart beats. I wish I could just live the past years again, which we had spent together. Go back to the school days where we used to pull each other's hair, write slam book entries, check each other's rough notebook with red pens, snatch each other's tiffin boxes, forge fake signatures, grab snacks during lectures, bitch about the people we hated, and so much more!

Shit, this hits so fucking hard. We spent all our childhood so well that we didn't even realize when we grew up.

I paused, and looked at him from a distance. He set his hair, as his usual habit, and like...looked so normal, as if it's not something new for him. But my stomach sank.

Don't go, Sam...please, hold my hand, and stay with me.

I didn't want him to go, I didn't want this era to end, because I knew that no matter what, when he comes back, he will be changed, because he won't be staying here anymore, he'll just visit. Our school won't be something he would study in, it will remain as something that echoes his memories and the time he spent here. He'll visit my home, but not the way he would come anytime uninformed, it would be planned, with date and time. He'll have to travel to come home. Shit.

He'll have new friends, he would've done so many things from our first-time checklist with his other friends. Everything would've changed.... everything.

'Nothing will change.' My mother's voice startled me between my thoughts. Without turning back, I sighed, and crossed my arms over my chest. Mumma's voice had my heart in a flush. I regained some strength and then finally turned back to look at her.