TILL INFINITIES END

50. AARUSHI

I was leaving the clinic, my mind tangled with worry about Tia. I had wind up the patients early today- to get back to Tia as soon as possible. The whole day had passed, and I was still figuring out how to talk to her. How do you even begin to address something like this?

I waved goodbye to the clinic staff, smiling, but inside, I was consumed. My thoughts were somewhere else entirely—back home, with her.

Just as I reached out to open the car door, my phone buzzed in my hand. I glanced at the screen. It was a message from Tia.

"Hi Mumma. I am leaving to go to Myra's. I'll stay the night at her house. Don't worry about my dinner."

A small smile tugged at my lips, thinking, She's going out. She's spending the night at Myra's. That has to be a good sign, right? Tia is finally ready to leave the house, be around people, maybe let go of all the things that have been pulling her down. Maybe she feels better now, maybe she has finally be able to let go of the pain and is trying to get back to normal. For a brief moment, relief flooded through me.

But before I could even finish that thought, another one took its place. Oh, Aarushi, how are you always so optimistic even when you're not supposed to? Does this kind of pain go away so easily? By crying for one day, and then puff! It's gone? That's how this works? What if this is her way of running away? What if she knows Varun and you planned to talk to her tonight? What if she's leaving so she doesn't have to face you?

The thought chilled me. What if she's trying to protect herself? What if she thinks by staying away, she'll avoid hurting us?

My heart clenched. I couldn't let this sit. I had to hear her voice, had to make sure she was really okay. My fingers moved on their own, dialing her number.

"Hi, Mumma!" Tia answered, her voice bright and cheerful, almost too cheerful.

"Hi, Tia. How do you feel now?" I asked quickly, my voice tense. I slid into the driver's seat, turning the key, but my mind was not settling. I needed to know—was she really alright?

"I'm great! Just packing my bag to go to Myra's." She sounded so casual, so... happy.

For a second, I let myself believe it. Maybe she is okay. Maybe she's moved on, trying to get back to her normal life. But as quickly as that hope appeared, a darker thought crept in, one that tightened around my chest like a creeper.

She was always "fine" in front of you, Aarushi. She hid her feelings for Sam for months. You had no idea until you overheard her. What makes you think she isn't hiding her feelings now too?

The doubt slid into my mind, pulling me deeper into my worry. My hands gripped the steering wheel a little tighter as the voice in my head whispered contradictions, continuously.

"I just wanted to remind you not to forget your toothbrush and nightdress," I said, trying to mask the concern in my voice. Maybe if I kept things light, she wouldn't notice my worry.

"I've packed them," Tia replied easily, as if everything was perfectly normal.

But was it? Could it really be that simple? My heart wasn't convinced. Certainly not a mother's heart.

She's always been good at hiding her emotions from you, Aarushi. What if this is another one of those times? The doubt hit me hard again, twisting in my gut, making it hard to breathe.

"Okay," I managed to say, the fake smile still present across my face, though she couldn't see it. "Take care, and send me pictures if you click any."

"Okay, Mumma! Bye!" Tia exclaimed.

But something in me wouldn't let it go. Just as she was about to hang up, I felt the words escape my mouth before I even realized what I was saying.

"Tia?"

"Yes?" she responded, her voice curious, waiting for me to continue.

"You're... you're fine, right?" The words felt heavy, like they were wrapped in all my fear and uncertainty. My heart thudded in my chest as I waited for her answer, a knot tightening in my throat.

Tia laughed, light and carefree. "Yes, Mumma. I'm great!"

But was she? My mind screamed at me, filling me with doubt. She sounds so normal, so fine... but is she? What if she's faking it again? What kind of mother can't even tell if her own child is truly okay?

The call ended, but the silence that followed was deafening. I sat there, the phone still in my hand, staring at the screen as if it would tell me the truth, something more than what Tia had said.

What kind of mother are you, Aarushi? You're supposed to know your child better than anyone. You're supposed to be able to see through the façade. But here you are, second-guessing every word, every smile. Is she even your daughter? Rethink. You're failing her.

Tears hid at the back of my eyes as the weight of guilt pressed down on me. My own daughter, and I couldn't even tell if she was being honest with me. I started the car, my hands trembling slightly. I should feel relief, but all I felt was an overwhelming sense of helplessness. What if I was missing something? What if she was hurting and I wasn't there to see it?

The road ahead blurred as my mind swirled with worry. Tia's voice still echoed in my head—so cheerful, so normal—but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Something was off, and I was too blind to see it.

It felt like my heart mocked, "Dr. Aarushi failed at being mumma."