TILL INFINITIES END

26. TIA

THREE WEEKS LATER.

(author's note: this chapter is quite long, so as done earlier i am going to divide it into two halves.)

'Duh! How long??' I thought as I looked at my watch.

Dear God, if you ever want to bless the male population with something, please bless them with punctuality of time, especially to guys like Sam. He's 20 minutes late! It is such an important day today, he has no idea how tensed I am, and he's all set to pull my nerves by not coming on time!!

I decided to check the letter once again. It was perfect, at least from my perspective. As far as I have seen people writing love letters in movies and books, this letter deserves at least a 9.5 out of 10 (I would give it a ten, but...come on, there's a thing called modesty *twitch of mouth*). I had the whole plan set up in my mind- when he would enter, I would give him a side hug, we'll laugh a little about stuff here and there and make the atmosphere joyful, order something, and then call out for the bill. When the bill arrives, I will take it, and hand over the letter to Sam, and say 'you need to pay this.'

while he's reading, I would secretly take out the paper roses which I've made, and once he is done reading and hand them over to him. And then I'll try to put my feelings out there in the form of words, and express it to them verbally. Sounds like a plan? I love it!

The only thing that worried me was how he would react. I was not afraid of getting rejected, I was afraid that things would later get awkward and that would affect our friendship. This is the only thing I am worried about. It's a big risk, but I think that it's the best time to confess, because this could be a start to our new beginning along with the little start we're taking in our careers.

And, the feelings, they've been here for too long now! I want him to know what I feel for him. To be frank, I don't really care about my feelings at this moment, if he says that they don't reciprocate, maybe I can still let them go, but if at all I have to pay the cost of losing this friendship, duh! I don't think I'll survive without him! like, I just can't think about losing him at all.

There is a little voice coming up in my brain again and again which says 'don't do it Tia, you're risking it all. Just for the sake of a confession, you're putting your friendship on the hanging knife! Are you sure you want to do it?'

'yes, I want to do it. You, stupid logical brain, stay out of the matter of emotions, got it?' my heart answers even before I could allow myself to think. This thing was making me curious now, because I was a little desperate to know what would be Sam's answer. Of-course I was nervous, but the willingness to know about the outcome was enough for me to take the risk. The feelings have been in for too long now. If it's a do or die, then let it be, I'm ready!

Just to distract myself from the thoughts, I started looking around in the café. The café was typically aesthetic, with vibrant yellow walls and an animated illustration of a cycle, artificial green plants hung over the corners, and certain picture spots in the backyard. My eyes suddenly landed on the opening door, and I saw Sam entering in. rush, rush, rush.... adrenaline rush!

He was wearing a simple sky-blue shirt, with rolled sleeves, an off-white pant & brown watch. Oh. My. God. How is this possible that even in such simple clothes, someone can look so good!? I mean, these actors out there should thank Sam for not entering the modelling line, because if he would, duh! They're definitely getting unemployed soon 😊

My stomach was twitching into knots. I know that all this proposal idea was mine, but now, I feel like backing off. It's like giving a stage performance, you can practice a million times, but still, you feel that nervousness when you actually have to give it in front of the audience. I was feeling that nervousness like- Shit, I'm going to confess.

I got up to give him a side hug as always and that's when I noticed, he was down. I noticed it by the way he gave me that smile. he didn't look much happy today. His face seemed a little off, more like a combination of fear and sadness. He ignored the fact that I stood up for a hug, passed me a faint smile as he came near to the table, and pulled himself a chair. Taking my intuitions into account, I pushed the letter into my bag, and hid it under the chair.

'hey!' he sounded low, he did not even call me topper tee. This felt a bit strange.

'hey...how was the day?' I asked him.

'y-yeah...it was...nice.' He replied. 'what about you?'

Something's wrong, his charisma is all gone. What the fuck happened?

'what happened Sam?' I asked.

'Wh- what?' he fumbled.

'you look little off. something happened?' I pointed out.

'uh...' he hesitated and avoid making an eye contact 'no!' he passed a faint smile, 'can we order something?'

'Sure.' I said. definitely, something was wrong. I noticed his right leg was shaking, which means he was nervous. What is he nervous for? Am I missing out on something? Certainly not.

He feebly picked up the menu and I saw his hands tremble a bit. Fuck, why's that happening? I chose to stay silent and follow how it goes.

God, don't ruin this for me, it's a big day.

He scanned through the dishes, and I could see it through his eyes that his attention was not fully on the menu.

This mood was making me scared. Like, why is he behaving like this? I picked up a shake which I wanted to order and called for the waiter.

'uh, one chocolate shake with Choco-chip cookies. What about you?' I looked at Sam. He was lost. His eyeballs were stuck at some point on the menu. He was just pretending that he was reading, but in reality, he was lost in some thoughts.

'Sam?' I called his name, but seems like it fell on deaf ears.

'Sam?' I said in a higher tone this time.

'y-yeah?' he looked up from the menu, startled.

'your order?" I asked him.

"huh?" he looked clueless, as if he has been absent for a while.

'what do you want to order?' I asked him, pressurizing more on my words with rising worry.

'Uhh..' he again flipped through the menu and said 'toast cheese chilli-' he paused.

'I am sorry, uh, chilli cheese toast.' He said. why the hell is he fumbling with words?

'okay sir.' The waiter took the order and went away.

'what's wrong?' I asked him.

He just stared into my eyes, and stayed mum. This silence was killing me.

'Sammm?' I intensified upon my words 'I asked you something!!'

'Uh...Tia, there's something I....' he paused. the fear which he tried to burry had surfaced on his face.

'Something that you...?' I insisted him to complete his sentence.

'that...uh...' he paused.

'that?' I repeated.

He swallowed a lump of throat and took out his handkerchief to wipe of the sweat lined up on his forehead. My heartbeats were raising.

'THAT?' I asked him again.

'Tia, there's something I need to tell you, and th-that's what I called you today for.' he said, with a pinch of regret and fear in his voice.