TILL INFINITIES END

40. TIA

I heard the sound of the zip of his bag as he closed it. Can you imagine? I was looking at him pack- PACK, and I still haven't cried, at least not yet.

It was like watching a chapter of my life close, and I clearly wasn't ready for it. I sat on the edge of his bed, pretending to be fine and back to normal, but inside, I was in pieces- tiny-tiny pieces which caused me a pain hundred times their own size. Everything he did—folding clothes, stuffing things away into his bag and suitcase—it felt like he was packing away pieces of us too in them. It was so attached with my inner self that I could feel more and more lonely as he put each item in the bag, making his room emptier.

I watched him whistle a song as he pushed away the bag and open a suitcase.

Shit. This duffer has no idea.

No clue how hard it was for me to sit here, to watch him randomly whistle and pack up his life and leave everything behind. My hands were trembling in my lap, my right leg was shaking and I forcefully bit my lip to keep the tears in control. I couldn't lose control now. Not in front of this boy.

"Tia, can you pass me that blue t-shirt?" he asked, without looking at me, his voice playful as ever.

I reached for it automatically, but as soon as my fingers touched the fabric, I froze. It wasn't just any t-shirt—it was his favourite t-shirt. The one he always wore at his home and casual hangouts, the one that made him look so... so effortlessly handsome. And now, I was touching it for the last time before it disappeared into a suitcase, like him.

I couldn't help but pause. I stared at it, lost in the memory of how he'd worn it the day we went to watch that horror movie, laughing over as I spilled popcorn on the seat while a jump-scare came, and how he looked that night we stayed up on my terrace quarrelling about if Shifa did the right thing by leaving Aniket. A bittersweet wave of emotions washes over me as I remember that.

I could almost hear his laughter; see that easy smile of his; and his cute competitive debating tone while he took Ankiet's side and I took Shifa's. I didn't realize it that night; how precious these moments are, until today, when I am finally touching this blue fabric, not knowing when he'll again appear the same way like the one I remember. My Sam, my best friend.

"Tia?" His voice pulled me out of the thoughts. He was watching me now, noticing the way I had stopped, my hand holding the t-shirt like it was something fragile and would break. I quickly got back to reality, handing it over to him, trying to hide my emotions.

He took it, but he didn't look away. Instead, he stared at me, narrowing his brows, looking at me with concern in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice was soft.

I looked at him—really looked at him—and it was like a punch to the gut. This was the boy who had been my best friend, my everything. And soon, he would be gone. My throat tightened as I stared back at him, memorizing every feature of it, knowing that in just a few days, I wouldn't be able to look at him like this anymore. No more lazy afternoons together, no more playing BOLLYWOOOD in notebooks during lectures, no more sneaking snacks between lectures, no more spontaneous ice cream runs, no more stupid jokes which got us rolling on the floor.

You're losing him, Tia, and he doesn't even know it.

"Tia?" he asked again, more gently this time. He dropped the t-shirt, stood up and came and sat beside me, watching me for a few seconds. I looked away, not wanting to match my eyes with him. Without thinking, he intertwined his little finger with mine, something he did in childhood whenever I was angry and he wanted to convince me back. It was a simple gesture, but it shattered me. I can see him look at me, from periphery, but I was shaking. He gently crossed the other fingers with mine.