Devotingly Yours~{Geto Sugaru x Reader}

Ch. 11)Clouded Judgment and betrayal

Sugaru had been different lately. He was still coming and going, just not as often as he did when he was working as a Jujutsu sorcerer. He was taking me to work, and taking me home when he could, and even seemed happier and brighter than he had been before. 

Today was my day off and he left a note saying he was going to be out for a little bit, but that he'd always come home. Although I wished he would tell me in person when he would leave instead of just leaving a note when I slept, I never minded because he always kept his promise. 

It was so easy to trust him. 

I sat on the couch scrolling through my phone as the TV played in the background. I switched through channels in between scrolling just to put on something somewhat interesting. I finally settled on the news station and picked up my phone to scroll again. 

"This morning  on Flash Facts, we're going to talk about a tragic event that took place in a village just beyond ours. 112 lives were brutally taken from the poor souls of that village, in turn wiping it entirely out. This tragic news is paralyzing to all of us, especially to those families of the lost. Do what you can to aid those families, sending prayers, love, and even extra food if needed. We are unsure of Suspects as of now, but we make promise that they will be found. We hypothesize that it was the once home village of a loved one."

My heart sank as he spoke, who would do such a thing...? My heart raced as my mind went to Sugaru, he had told me he was traveling to a village not to far from here. I hoped with every inch of my being that he was okay. 

That whoever was there didn't get to him. I knew he was strong, I knew he could handle himself, but I also remember having to patch him up. How out of shape he was.

My mind raced with thoughts, restless with the worst endings possible. I had to know if he was okay. My hands shook as I reached for my phone to click on the call button by his contact. 

I watched the screen as it rang waiting for him to pick up, no answer. I called again, no answer. I called once more... no answer. 

My heart sunk with the heaviest feeling it's ever felt. My gut, the worst nausea to come. He can't be dead. He can't be dead. I felt my mind spiral and tears sting the edge of my eyes as my nose burned. 

He was dead. There's no other explanation. 

I felt so lost. I felt empty. Soon, the sound of my sobs filled my empty apartment walls. Nala came and sat in my lap, letting me hold onto her. 

Everything in my apartment reminded me of him... I didn't want to move.

~

"Y/n is everything okay in there? Why are you crying?" I heard his deep voice along with the sound of my key opening the door. He sounded frantic, like he was trying to get in fast. I threw Nala onto the couch beside me, flinging myself into his arms the minute he got the door open. 

I couldn't help but cry as I felt his embrace. I couldn't help but shake. He wasn't dead. He was here, holding me. 

"Baby what is it? Hey I'm here." He picked me up, bringing me over to the couch to sit on his lap, not letting me go as we got situated. 

"Sugaru, I saw the news. The man was talking about the village you said you were traveling to, even used the same words to describe it. "A village just beyond ours." He was explaining how it was completely wiped out. I thought you were killed. I tried calling but you didn't answer." I could feel my breath getting shorter and shorter as I spoke. I felt panicked.

"Baby calm down, I'm right here. You scared me I thought you were hurt. It's terrible for those 112 people, but I wasn't one of them." He smiled gently. There was something different in the air. 

My gut twisted as I pulled away from him. 

"I never told you how many people were killed." I felt my lip quiver as I got off of him, my throat felt closed as I tried to put my guard back up. I wanted to puke. 

His face froze as he sat there on the couch. My couch. 

"Sugaru. Tell me what's going on." I whispered, not even knowing if i wanted to know the truth. 

He paused before standing up, and placing his hands in his pockets. He looked defeated yet calm. 

"I slaughtered that village a week ago, before I quit working as a Jujutsu sorcerer. This is old news, and just caught air. I'm sorry you had to find out this way." He spoke low, and soft. Kept his hands in his pockets and held eye contact. 

"When were you gonna fucking tell me? Or were you not gonna tell me at all?! Just because it's 'old news' makes it okay to do?!" I felt rage surge through my veins as I spoke, trying to stay calm as I questioned him. 

"I let you into my home, I fixed you, fed you. I even let you fuck me. When were you gonna tell me? When you were done fucking me?" I felt my voice break as I spoke to him, I was losing control of my emotions. My heart was breaking. 

His eyes grew dark. 

"I wasn't using you. If I was I would've killed you too." He stepped closer, keeping his hands in his pockets. His tone still calm speaking of death so casually.. 

"I told you not to fix me, not to take me home, but you insisted. I knew I was bad for you, but I fell in love with you, and I'm selfish." 

I backed away with every inch he stepped forward. I was cornered by the door. 

"You hurt all of those people. You killed them Sugaru." My voice broke again. I couldn't get away from that fact. 

"I can't explain why I've done the things I have... at least not yet. But I can explain how you make me feel, and how fucking desperate I am to be in your life. Being a bad person is about perspective, I'd never hurt you Y/n. And honestly I have no idea why I'm trying so hard to be with you, but I am. I feel like I cannot breathe without you." His face changed as he spoke, he looked desperate, longing. His eyes even seemed like they were telling a story. 

His arms fell from his pockets, reaching out as he began to walk towards me. I stand my ground, even though I'm cornered, unsure whether I should let my feelings cloud everything I now knew about Geto Sugaru. 

But oh how badly I yearned for his touch. 

What he was doing went against everything I had ever believed in... everything I work for... the definition of my job. 

He's so close... and that scares me.