𝓢𝓾𝓷𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓮

Chapter 30

Warning: Mention of Suicidal thoughts.

Hazel

There was times in my life where I really didn't want to live. Where I prayed to any possible God or deity that might possibly exist to just take my life. I begged and begged but, it never happened.

I couldn't particularly tell you why I felt this way. From the outside looking in everything looked fine, I had two married parents that were happily together, a loving brother, a very nice living situation, nice clothes, and I had food and water on the table.

Everything that should've made me happy and ok with my life didn't.

But, as I grew older I understood. That I hated myself. I hated how I looked, how I acted, how I perceived myself and how others perceived me.

And even though I could be petty I also wanted people to like me at the same time and I hated the thought of someone not liking me.

And most of that could be attributed to my parents. My Mother constantly made me feel like I was worthless and that no one would ever want me.

Which was a complete contradiction to what she would say when she would shame me for wearing shirts or dresses that would slightly reveal some cleavage.

And my father, to put it simply was just a bitch. And I was not afraid to say it anymore. Telling me I had to cook and clean for a man? What was this the 1930's.

And who was he to tell me I had to have sex with Ares? I didn't have to give anyone shit. And when Ares and I did have sex it was because we both wanted to. Not because I felt like I owed him anything.

Maybe that's why I loved Ares. Even if being around him was frustrating he never made me feel worthless. He always made sure I was ok, and was even willing to fight for me.

And I was being  so stupid and impulsive by just running away. If I had just opened my mouth and talked to him, explained how felt he would've understood.

He said himself he wasn't going to force me to love him. But for some reason that went into one ear and out the other.

Now here I was, blindfolded, handcuffed, laying on the cold cement ground. And at this moment I was scared. I always thought I wanted to die. But I didn't. Not like this. Not right now.

I guess it is true...sometimes we don't know what we want. Just what we think we want.

Just how was I supposed to get out of this situation?

I was hoping that Ares, would care enough to start looking for me. But I wasn't too sure. I mean he said he loved me but was that true? It felt like it was true but who knows.

Maybe he wants me dead, and maybe he'll take this opportunity to his advantage. Let them do the dirty work for him.

Just then I heard something click behind me as door steps started to approach me. The were coming from my right and it sounded like the person had boots on because the sound of each step taken was heavy and scruffy.

Suddenly I felt pain explode of my right rib, since the kick came with no warning I groaned out in pain. "Oh good you're awake." A low bass voice said.