wildest dreams | b.e

The truth. | 016

                                Alana's POV

"Brooklyn, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't realize it would upset you this much!" I shout through the phone.

Brooklyn is pissed at me right now on the phone because I couldn't hang out with her because I was too busy recording with Billie at her brother's house which is so stupid. Like, girl, this is my fucking job.

"It's always something to do with Billie and you know it! I'm tired of being a secret and being a second thought!" She argues back.

"Brook, this wasn't my choice and you know that! I want to be with you like normal, but you know we can't. I'm sorry it has to be this way, but it is whether you like it or not." I tell her. "We either stay together and be together privately, or we break up if you don't like it."

"I want to be with you because I treat you fucking amazing, but you only care about Billie!" Brooklyn shouts from her end of the phone.

"That's not fair, Brooklyn. That's so unfair and you know that's not true! I love you, why are you acting like this?" Tears prick my eyes, but I blink them back.

"Because you're a cheating bitch!" She yells.

"Excuse me?!" I say with an angry tone. "You're joking, right? I'm not a cheater and I never will be! What the fuck is your problem?" My heart feels like it's being broken in a million pieces at the fact that she thinks I would ever do that to her. How could she?

"You know what, fuck you, Alana. I can't deal with this right now." Brooklyn scoffs before hanging up the phone.

I can't help but let the tears bottled up inside stream down my cheeks out of frustration and hurt. I don't know why she's so threatened by Billie. She has absolutely nothing to worry about.

Someone bangs on the front door of my apartment. "Alana, open up!" I hear them shout.

Fuck, why does this have to happen while I'm literally sobbing?

I walk to the front door and open it to see Billie, out of breath with her hands on her knees.

"Alana, I'm so sorry!" She says, her chest heaving up and down as she tries to get her heart rate to a normal speed again. It looks like she just ran up here. "I've been acting like a total dick to you and I shouldn't have, I don't even know why I started being so mean to you in the first place, you didn't deserve that and I- I don't want to fight with you anymore!" Billie says, gasping for air. "Can I come in?" She asks and I hesitate before stepping aside and she runs in.

I sniffle and wipe my tears on my cheek. "What are you doing here..?"

"Are you crying?" Billie looks up at me to see my puffy and glossy eyes.

"It doesn't matter. Why the fuck are you so out of breath?" I furrow my eyebrows.

"Because I couldn't find my car keys and I really wanted to talk to you." She says, putting her hands in her pockets when she pulls out her keys. "Are you fucking kidding me?" Billie shouts at herself.

I can't help but laugh at her frustration and she looks at me and her glare turns into a soft expression with a smile.

"Alana?" She asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah?"

"I want to be your friend." She says.

"You do?" I raise my eyebrows in shock and she nods.

"I miss when we were friends a few years ago and we were closer. I made a huge fucking mistake when I slept with Chloe, she's a total bitch and I completely hurt you. I don't know why I started acting to you the way I did when I had no reason to. I was just being a shitty person." She sighs.

Fuck it. "Can I tell you something?" I ask her.

"Yeah, what is it?" Billie asks.

"Um, so back when I was still dating Chloe and you and I were still friends, I started developing feelings for you and I wanted to end things with Chloe, but since the relationship was so toxic, I just couldn't and I got so pissed when I found out you were hooking up with Chloe because I didn't even care that Chloe was cheating on me." I ramble, my voice starting to break. "I cared that you were with her because I wanted you to want me, not her."

Billie freezes and just stares at me in shock. Why did I tell her that? I'm such an idiot.

"You had feelings for me?" She asks quietly and I nod my head.

"Alana, I'm so sorry I did that to you. I had no idea you felt that way back then." Billie tells me.

"That's why Finneas was laughing yesterday, I told him this at that after party when you went to the bathroom and he told me he wouldn't tell you, but now he thinks I still have feelings for you, including my own girlfriend." I admit with a sigh.

"Well.. do you?" She asks.

I literally don't think I'm breathing right now.

"Alana, do you?" She asks again.

"W-what? No." I shake my head.

"Oh."

"Yeah.."

The room goes dead silent and I stare at the floor.
"I made it awkward, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anyth~" Billie interrupts me by pulling me in for a hug. I hesitate before wrapping my arms around her waist as well.

I feel at ease for once in her arms, surprisingly, and I finally relax in her embrace. We pull away after what seems like 10 minutes and she smiles at me.

"I've missed you, Alana." She tells me. "A lot."

"I've missed you too, not gonna lie." I laugh. "I was hurt that you slept with my girlfriend, but it hurt me even more when we stopped being friends. It hurt to hate you."

"It hurt to hate you, too." Billie says. "Why were you crying?" She asks and I sigh.

"Brooklyn." I shrug.

"Bro, why are you even with her? She's a bitch." Billie rolls her eyes and I laugh.

"She's sweet, she just gets really protective over me and she's threatened by you for some reason." I shake my head.

"Oh.. weird." Billie mumbles. "Still, you shouldn't date someone who makes you cry." She says and I shrug.

"It's fine, just an argument, I guess." I sigh.

Billie's probably right, but I love Brook. We'll figure it out, I know we will.

"So.. friends?" She asks.

"Friends." I smile and she returns one.

"Anddd fake girlfriends." She adds and I laugh.

"Ugh, don't remind me. Brooklyn thinks this is real, which it obviously isn't." I chuckle.

"Yeah, it's not real." She whispers under her breath and I furrow my eyebrows.

"You good?" I ask, putting my hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine." She shakes her head and puts a smile on.

Weird.

Billie and I are actually friends now. Who would've thought that would happen? I'm happy we're back, Billie was one of my best friends, so I've missed our friendship a lot.

For some reason, I feel like Billie is acting weird about us being friends, like, I don't know, it's strange.

It's just an adjustment for her to make.. I think.

holly speaks <3
hellooooo
this chapter sucked ngl i'm sorry 😭
if y'all have anything you want to see in this book or any ideas lmk i would love your feedback!

anyways see y'all tmr 🫶🏻🫶🏻