wildest dreams | b.e

Shouldn't have came here | 038

                                  Alana's POV

I'm going over to Billie's place soon and I'm nervous but also excited as fuck. I could barely sleep last night just thinking about today.

I think I'm really falling for Billie.. like really hard. I think after all this time, it's actually going to work out.

I tied my shoes and grabbed my purse before walking to the front door. Rocky trots behind me and I bend down to pet him. "Bye, baby, I'll see you soon." I say to him in a baby voice.

I walk out to my car in the parking lot and get in. Billie already knows I'm coming over soon, so I don't need to text her. I think we're maybe going to be talking about the same stuff? She said she had something to tell me, too.

Not sure what it is, though.

I get to Billie's house after driving for a little bit, and now I'm getting out of my car. I grab my bag and walk to the door.

I knock a few times and the door opens, a smiling Billie standing behind it. "Hey," I say to her as I walk in. "Hey, Lana." She gives me a small wave.

"So, you wanted to talk?" She asks and I nod as we sit down on her couch. Shark comes over and sits on my lap and I pet his head.

"Yeah, you said you had something to tell me, too, right?" I say. "Mhm," She nods. "Could I go first?" She asks. "It's kind of important." She chuckles, sounding almost nervous.

I think it's what I think it is.

I'm so fucking excited.

"Sure, that's fine." I smile at her and she takes a deep breath. "Alana, I got back with my ex boyfriend, Jesse, and I just wanted to let you know because of our job and all." She says and my face drops.

"W-what?" I ask, almost not even believing it. She shrugs and furrows her eyebrows. "What's wrong?" She asks.

"But, we had something going on?" I try and blink back the tears in my eyes. God, pull yourself together, Alana. You're fucking pathetic.

"It was just fake, wasn't it?" She raises her eyebrows. "You- you though it was fake?! I trusted you, Billie! I think I was starting to- never mind. It doesn't even matter anymore." I laugh in disbelief. "Have a nice fucking life. This fake relationship over and so is whatever the fuck was going on between us. Fuck you." I shake my head and get up to leave.

"You were starting to what..?" Billie asks, stopping me. "I think I was starting to fall in love with you." I admit.

I see anger paint Billie's face and I choke back the tears that are begging to be let out. "You treated me like shit for years and now you're in love with me? That's not fair, Lana. I'm happy in a relationship." She shouts angrily.

"Yeah, and it was supposed to be with me! I thought your feelings were real, but you just fucking used me. It all meant nothing to you?" I look at her with hurt in my eyes.

"Alana, I-"

"No, I don't want to hear it. I came here to tell you.." I sigh, trying to hold all my emotions back. "I came here to tell you that I'm moving. Honestly, I wanted you to come with me, but it was all "fake", wasn't it?" I say, mocking her.

"What..?" Billie asks, tears now forming in her eyes. "Alana, I'm so sor-" She starts to say, but I cut her off.

"Save it, Billie. We're done. Have a good life, I hope whatever the fuck his name is treats you well." I shake my head at her and grab my things. I walk out of the house, slamming the door. Billie starts to follow me out, but I get in my car and drive away before she can even get to me.

As soon as I start driving, tears pour down my face. I admitted my feelings to her when she was the one who admitted her's first, we had sex, had something going on, and then she goes ahead and gets back with her ex? Who the fuck does that?

I finally stopped hating her after she betrayed me, but here she is, betraying me again. I should've known better.

I start driving to Olivia's house. I need my best friend more than anything right now.

I get to her house and knock on the door. The smile that Olivia's face once had drops once she sees my face. "Oh my God, what happened?" She asks. I don't even answer, I just hug her. She wraps an arm around me and shuts the door, taking me inside.

She walks me to the couch and we both sit down without breaking our hug. "Alana, what happened?" She frowns. I cry even harder because I don't even want to talk about it. I hate how I'm so fucking hurt over Billie once again.

Why do I even care so much? I shouldn't care.

Or maybe I should?

I don't even know what to think anymore.

I stop my tears and wipe my eyes, putting my head in my hands. "She lied to me, Liv." I say, my voice cracking. "Who lied?" She asks.

"Billie." I sigh and Olivia immediately gets angry. "What the fuck did she do?" She says.

"She got back with her ex." I tell her. "What? But, didn't you guys have something going on?" She furrows her brows. "I thought that, too, but apparently to Billie, it was all fake." I scoff.

"Oh, Lan, I'm so sorry." She says, hugging me again. I shrug in her arms. "It's whatever. I'll get over it." I say, going on my phone. "What are you doing?" She asks.

"Blocking that bitch on everything. She keeps blowing up my fucking phone, and honestly, I really don't want to hear it from her." I roll my eyes.

"I can't believe she'd do this to you, Alana. I really thought this was gonna work out." Liv sighs.

"Well, you thought wrong." I laugh and she tilts her head. "Lana, I'm sorry." She chuckles.

"It's fine, Liv." I lay my head down in her lap.

It's not fine.

I feel like my heart just got crushed into two.

I need to get the fuck out of Los Angeles.

holly speaks 🤍

dot dot dot

pls don't come for me 🥰🥰

love youuuu