wildest dreams | b.e

Not so good at goodbyes | 041

                                   Alana's POV

I have all my shit packed and I'm getting the fuck out of California. I'll miss it here, but it's time for a new chapter in my life. I honestly think this is gonna be really good for my music.

Like it was previously said, Olivia and Conan are coming with me to New York to help me move in which is really sweet of them. I'm nervous because I really don't know anyone in New York City, but I can always make new friends, although, no one can ever replace my best friends.

"Are you ready?" Conan asks excitedly, drumming his hands against one of the seats in the car. "Yup!" I nod as I get into the car. I'm driving to the airport with Liv in the front seat and Conan in the back.

My apartment is already furnished in New York and I love it all since I saw it online. All I need is some decor and shit and it'll be good.

"I can't wait to see your new apartment, Lana." Liv says to me. "I know, me too!" I smile.

"Hold on guys, I gotta grab gas real quick." I tell them, getting off the highway and driving to a gas station. I stop the car and get out to pump gas. Once I shut the door, I notice Olivia starts saying something to Conan and I hear him yell "WHAT?", but Liv shushes him. I have no clue what they're talking about, probably some dumb shit.

They start talking back and forth, but when I open the door and get back in after I'm done getting gas, they both turn away and get quiet.

I buckle myself in and look at them. "Umm.. what are you two doing?" I laugh. "Nothing!" They say at the same time. "Y'all are acting hella sketchy, but okay." I furrow my eyebrows and turn back to face the road as I start driving again.

About 20 minutes later, we get to the airport and we all get out of the car. Liv and Conan help me get all of our suitcases and we go inside. "What gate are we at?" Liv asks. "No fucking clue." Conan shrugs. "Let me check." I say, pulling out my phone. I check our tickets to find out. "Oh, that one over there!" I point to one of them and they nod.

We go through TSA, all the usual airport stuff and we finally get to our gate.

It's 12pm right now and our flight boards at 3pm, so we'll have to wait a little while.

Once we sit down, Conan lays down and lays his head in my lap. He does this to me and Olivia all the time whenever we're at the airport, I have no clue why, but I don't really care.

"I'm bored, let's play GamePigeon." Liv says and Conan and I both laugh. She loves playing iMessage games for some reason. "Alright, go to the group chat and start Crazy-8." I tell her.

We play games for a little while since we have nothing better to do. Waiting for flights is boring as fuck. "I'm taking a nap, wake me up when our plane is here." Conan says.

I sigh and go on my phone. I haven't been on Instagram in a while since my dm's are constantly getting blown up asking if Billie and I broke up and it's fucking annoying.

I still can't shake this feeling about how hurt I am. I just don't understand how she could do this to me.

I put my phone down and look up to see a familiar face coming towards me from afar.

Oh, you've gotta be fucking kidding me.

"Olivia! What the fuck is she doing here?" I tap Liv on her shoulder and she looks at me with a nervous expression. "Alana.. don't be mad." She says.

"Don't be mad? What the fuck did you do?" I ask and she looks down and sighs. "Oh, nah, fuck this." I get up and run into the bathroom before she can come over to me.

Thankfully, no one is in here. I pick a random stall and lock myself in. I swear to God, if she comes in h-

"Alana? Can we please talk?" Billie walks in and stands outside the stall I'm in.

"Go away, I've made it very clear that I don't want to see you or talk to you." I say to her.

"Please, Alana. I'm so sorry, Lani." She says.

"Don't call me that. Get out." I start feeling tears fall down my face, but I try my best to keep them in. I hate how I'm letting her do this to me. I shouldn't be crying over fucking Billie Eilish.

"Please." She begs against the door. "Billie, go the fuck away, I'm serious." I scold her.

I hear her sigh and walk out. I take a minute before walking out of the stall. I look into the mirror and wipe the mascara that was running down my face.

This shit definitely isn't waterproof.

I wash my hands even though I didn't use the bathroom just because airport bathrooms are low-key gross.

I look out of the bathroom and I don't see Billie anywhere, so I head back to my seat. "Olivia Isabel Rodrigo, you need to start talking." I narrow my eyes at her as I sit back down.

Conan nudges me and I look over at him. "I was gonna tell you, I forgot." He whispers. "You knew, too?" I gasp. Why the fuck would Liv do this?

"Okay, Lana, I'm really sorry. I just wanted you to see her again and hear her out. I still had hope for you guys and I guess I wanted to see if you'd listen to her." She sighs.

"Liv, I know you're trying, but she hurt me so fucking badly. Just don't do that, okay?" I say

"I'm sorry." She hugs me and I hug her back.

It's honestly whatever, but I'm still kind of mad. I never want to fucking see Billie again.

Billie's POV

I really wish she'd listen to me.

I really, really wish she would've heard me out.

I know I messed up, I know I hurt her, but I've always done the only thing I know.

Leave before you get left.

I like Alana a lot. I know I have a boyfriend and I'm trying to get over her, but I feel like such a shitty person. I messed up things with her so badly.

Olivia told me that she was leaving, so I went to the airport, but Alana shut me out. I deserve it, though.

I hate myself for what I did.

iMessage:

olivia rodrigo

hey i'm really sorry

i tried my best

it's fine i deserve it

thank you for trying though

you're welcome

just so you know, i'll always
be a blana shipper 🤫

sorry but that's not gonna happen

i know but a girl can dream 🤷🏼‍♀️

lmao bye olivia 😭

bye billieee

Irl:

I'm trying so hard to get over this, to get over Alana, but I can't. I know I have a boyfriend and I do love him, but I'll always have a place in my heart for Alana. No matter how much I don't want it.

I can't get over her when I'm constantly being told in the back of my mind how fucking shitty I am.

I hate how much I hurt her.

holly speaks 🤍

ummm 🧍🏻‍♀️

sorry 🤷🏼‍♀️