wildest dreams | b.e

Drunk and in love | 054

                                   Alana's POV

"Bil, what are we doing?" I pull away from Billie's lips breathlessly.

I don't even know what's going on. We make out all the time, but nothing is happening.

I think I'm really in love with her.

"What do you mean?" She furrows her eyebrows, putting her hands on my waist as I sit on her lap.

"Billie, I've been staying at your house literally all the time, we hook up, we make out and shit, but nothing happens between us." I sigh, getting off of her and sitting next to her on the couch instead.

"I thought we were just gonna have something casual for right now with no labels?" She says.

My heart fucking hurts.

"Seriously? All of this has happened between us, but you don't want to take it to the next step? Do you not like me or something?" I look at her with hurt in my eyes and she puts her head down.

"Alana, I've been thinking and I'm worried about this.. I don't know if it's all a good idea." She admits. I look at her in disbelief. "Just with everything that's happened, you know? I- I don't want to hurt you and I-" She tries to come up with an excuse, but I cut her off.

"Okay, fuck you. I'm leaving." I shake my head and get up, grabbing my things.

"Lan, don't go." Billie sighs, getting up.

I ignore her and go out to my car, getting in and starting it. Billie runs out of her house and tries to come towards my car, but I drive off before she can.

She confesses her love for me and acts all fucking possessive over me, but she's too much of a pussy to do anything about it.

I shouldn't have fell in love with her.

I'm such a fucking idiot to think she actually liked me. Why do I keep letting her hurt me?

I pull over on the side of the road and I hit my head against the steering wheel, groaning. "Ugh, why does this shit always happen to me?"

                                  Billie's POV

Why do I never fucking thing before I speak? I love Alana so much that if psychically hurts me.

I get nervous taking things to the next level in a relationship with someone because I just don't want to get hurt again.

I guess I have trust issues from a relationship I had when I was younger and I'm always worried it's going to be the same.

I start to panic as I think back to what Alana had opened up to me about a few days ago.

"Um, could I tell you something about that, actually?" Alana asks me.

We're talking about the award show when she got really drunk for some reason.

"Of course you can. What is it?" I shift in my spot on the bed to face her.

"Don't feel guilty about this or anything because it's not your fault, but the reason I got drunk the other night was because of you." She tells me.