wildest dreams | b.e

Let's put it behind us | 020

Billie's POV

iMessage:

Alana Williams

billie can you please
text me back

what did i do

bro you can't
ignore me forever

billie

this is so dumb
whatever

can you at least
tell me what i did wrong?

Irl:

Alana's right, I can't ignore her forever. Clearly she doesn't remember anything about that night.

You're probably wondering why I'm ignoring her and obviously it's about the kiss. The reason I'm ignoring her because of it is not because I'm mad about it, but it's because I'm mad at myself because, I hate to fucking admit it, but I low-key liked it.

Does that make me a shitty person?

I don't know if it was just the alcohol, but I didn't want to stop for some reason, but I did. She has a girlfriend and I can't do anything about that. Besides, Alana and I would never date, that's literally not an option at all. I don't have feelings for Alana, but a part of me wants to hate her still.

I guess it's just because I'm used to it.

But it's because I hate that I actually like her. For over three years, all we did was hate each other, but now we're friends again and it doesn't feel normal. Sure, I've missed her, but I'm not used to this. It doesn't matter anyways, I'm going to have to talk to her eventually. Nothing's gonna change. As much as I hate Brooklyn, Alana loves her and I want her to be happy.

I think.

Shark comes running into the living room and he jumps up on the couch where I'm sitting, licking my chin and I giggle. "Hi, buddy." I coo at him as I scratch behind his ears.

For a moment, I feel peaceful. Shark sits on my lap and I feel calmer now.

Until my phone rings.

I jump from the sound and Shark barks. "Shh, it's fine." I tell him. I look at my phone to see the name I've been dreading.

'Alana Williams'.

Dear fucking God.

"Shark, mama needs you to stay here or else I'm gonna have a panic attack." I laugh nervously as I talk to him. Obviously he doesn't know what I'm saying, but he understands my feelings, so he lays his head back down into my lap.

I inhale deeply before pressing answer.

"Oh my God, finally." I hear Alana exhale through the phone.

"Hi..?" I say nervously.

"Billie, what did I do wrong? I'm so confused to why you're ignoring me. I thought we were cool again?" She says in a frustrated tone.

"Alana, I'm just really stressed right now, I shouldn't have been ignoring you, I'm sorry." I tell her.

"I don't even care about an apology, just tell me what I did! I don't know what you want me to do or say to get you to talk to me again and I don't know why I-"

"We kissed the other night." I cut her off and bite my lip nervously after I speak.

The phone goes silent for about 15 seconds. "A-alana? Are you there?" I ask.

"Yeah. I'm here." She says quietly.

I'm literally mentally kicking myself in the head. This has to be one of the top 10 most awkward moments in my entire life.

"Billie, I'm sorry. I seriously don't even remember this, I guess I was really drunk. It was a huge mistake and it didn't mean anything, like, I have a girlfriend and this was so stupid and I should've just been s-"

"Alana, just stop, okay?" I sigh in annoyance.

"I'm sorry." She mumbles.

"I just need time right now. Let's just put this behind us, okay? I can't handle talking about it all right now." I put my hand over my eyes. God, I'm so stupid.

"But, Billie we really should." She says.

"Not now, Alana! I'll call you later, alright?" I snap at her and sigh.

"Jesus, fine. I just wanna talk, but you're getting so pissed off over nothing." Alana says and I can just tell she's rolling her eyes right now.

"Alana, you don't know anything! I just can't fucking do this." I groan.

"Fine, whatever. Bye." She angrily hangs up the phone and I sigh as soon as the call ends.

I don't understand my feelings right now and Alana is just putting so much stress on me. I throw my head back with a groan and bury my face in Shark's fur. I literally don't know what to do anymore.

I'm gonna call Jesse, he always makes me feel better. Yes, I know that he's my ex boyfriend, but he's still a great friend, I'm mostly over him, anyways.

Why am I always talking to my exes? I don't even fucking know. Anything to get Alana off my mind.

Literally anything.

holly speaks 🫶🏻

dramaaaa

this story is getting a lot to write i'm trying to slow all this shit down for right now

please let me know if there's anything you want to see or any suggestions for chapter ideas! i'd love to hear your feedback 🤍

also thank you for almost 900 reads it's insane and i can't believe this has gotten so many 😭

alright anyways i love u and byeeeee