The One Who Controls | Tom Kaulitz

Cascading Failures

"Bill please, what's wrong?" I ask him, shooting up from my seat, rushing to his side.

"It was an emergency C section, the baby is only 22 weeks. It might not survive." He explained quietly as he ran his fingers through his hair. Tom hugged Bill tight, trying to console him.

"What about Taylor?" I asked nervously. Not knowing what to expect. She had been in so much pain.

"They don't know, she went into shock before surgery. She hasn't woke up yet." His voice trembled, and it hurt. Unable to contain my emotions, I excused myself and retreated to the bathroom. Frustration boiled and I kicked the garbage can, my tears standing my face as I cried out on the bathroom floor. This whole situation ate at my insides. My chest was heavy and my breathing hard. My mind was sad but all I wanted to was break something, there was so much anger.

I stared back in the mirror, my eyes red and puffy. My hands shake as I splash cold water against my face, taking a deep breath before leaving the bathroom. Bill paced the waiting room, back and fourth. Fuck this.

The bitter cold air cut through the night, causing me to shiver as I lit a cigarette, seeking a momentary escape from the overwhelming emotions inside. Tom joined me, his presence a mix of comfort and tension. He wrapped his arm around me, offering a semblance of warmth against the biting cold.

With each exhale of smoke, I tried to release some of the pent-up stress and worry. The night was filled with nothing, broken only by the sound of my breath and the occasional flicker of a lighter. There was a shared silence in the nicotine-laced air.

Taylor's face kept replaying in my mind, the pain and hurt, and the blood. She needed to be okay, I can't lose anyone else. She means the fucking world to, I can't make it if she cant. She's been through hell and back, she has to survive.

Tom flicks his cig and cups my face with his warm hands, giving me a sincere look. I started to cry again, and he gave me a kiss on my forehead holding me close. "What if she doesn't make it Tom, I can't do this." I say through choked tears.

"It's gonna be okay V, it has to be." It didn't make me feel any better, everything just fucking hurt. He wrapped his hand with mine and we stepped back into the waiting room, Bill still paced, biting at his nails.

There was a doctor coming up to us, I pray that is it better news. He took a breath for speaking. "She is the intensive care unit still asleep, she's went through major surgery but you can see her now." Bills face lit up and he went up the desk, asking for the room number.

The elevator ride felt like an eternity, the shared silence between us echoing the heavy anticipation in the air. As the doors opened, I both stepped into the hallway, the sterile hospital scent surrounding me. With a deep breath, I approached Taylor's room, my hand trembling slightly as I clicked open the door.

The sight inside was heart-wrenching. Taylor lay in the bed, connected to various tubes, her normally vibrant face now pale and fragile. Bill sat at her bedside, his hand gently holding hers, his touch a silent reassurance in the face of the uncertainty that hung over the room. This was a waiting game, and it was horrible. The hum of medical equipment and the gentle beeping of monitors filled the room, creating an eerie backdrop to the tension and concern that hung in my heart.

We sat in the room, watching her lay in that bed. I sat on a chair in the corner, crying softly as I watched Bill whisper that he loved her in her ear. Tom sat in the next sleeping. It had been a long fucking morning. My mind plays memories of her as I stare at her face. She was always there for me and we had so many good times together. This horrible feeling sat in my stomach. I needed to let my emotions out.