isabella // cth (book 1)

trente deux

I paced in my room thinking if I should call Michael or not. It's like 9 pm and I should decide faster because I don't know when he sleeps. I'm so nervous though, I don't know what to do.

I stared at my phone for like 5 minutes, arguing with myself.

"Okay fine." I groaned and finally picking up my phone, dialling Michael's number.

"Good fucking luck to me." I grumbled, then kinda shaking because of the nervousness I'm feeling.

"Michael." I breathed out as he answered the call.

I looked around my room, feeling like somebody's watching me even though the curtains are closed and I'm just lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Isabella, I-i'm sorry I-"

"Michael, I should be sorry. I don't know why I did that okay, I'm- I'm sorry."

"This is Calum's fault-"

"No, don't blame Calum please." I mumbled, cutting his sentence and suddenly he became silent.

"Really Isabella?" He kinda said in a tone that I can't figure out what, I don't know if he's being sarcastic or what.

"What?" I asked, puzzled.

"You're defending Calum?" He said in a sad tone that broke my heart because sad Michael is my weakness.

"Michael no, I'm not defending anyone." I said, my voice hoarse.

"So why'd you called? Are you breaking up with me?" He said, his voice about to crack like he's about to cry and it brought tears into my eyes, I bit my lip to avoid crying.

"Michael, about that, uhm. Promise me first you'll let me speak and you won't speak until I stop, okay?" I said, my voice sounded like I'm crying and I'm pretty sure he noticed that too.

"Okay." He answered shortly, I took a deep shaky breath, readying myself for the next words I'll say and I know will make the both of us cry harder.

"Michael, I've been inlove with Calum ever since I first saw him, I-i'm confused about everything. I am breaking up with you because I don't want you to hurt more, I know this is hard but I'm sorry Michael, I really am." I said then tears streamed down my face then I took a deep breath again. 

"Michael this doesn't mean that I hate you, I like you, seriously, like a lot. You're a cool guy and the girl you'll end up with will be so lucky because you're the type of guy girls read on books, all girls love that. Michael, I-i'm really sorry, I ended this up because it's for the better, for the both of us. Michael, sorry and I love you." I finished, I'm now hiccupping and I feel like my chest is tightening.

"I love you too." He whispered through the phone, "Goodbye, Isabella. I wish you the best, thank you for everything. You made me happy, Isabella." He said, I know he's just containing it in but he sounds like he's gonna break any minute.

"We can still be friends, right?" He asked hopefully and I sniffed.

"Of course, Mikey. Of course." I smiled. "It will never change, nothing will ever change. We're still the best of friends."

"I love you, Isabella." He said lasty and hang up.

I cried, lying on my bed. I'm such a bad person, I'm such a terrible person.

He deserved the best, Michael deserved the best.

I wish the girl of his dreams will already come and make him smile again.

-------

Guess who's fucking crying atm

no, not bc of this, life problems

goddamnit I hate my life myself and everything I wanna die

btw, hiiii so here's an update bc ily guys and yeah heh

vote and share x

love you all. x

p.s horrible update kbye