The Pieces of Me

The Park

"Mom, Dad, I'm leaving!" I call out as I grab my keys and head out the front door. I put all my stuff in my room and had organized most of it into the closet and my nightstand and dresser. It was mid afternoon now and I decided I wanted to take a drive through the neighborhood. Mom and dad wanted me to drive up with them yesterday so we paid someone to drive my car up. I have a dark green Mini Cooper that I got for my 16th birthday.

I climb in and start my car, looking up on maps the closest park. It's just a few blocks down the street from me. I follow the GPS listening to my phone telling me when to turn and I reach a large park with huge palm trees and a big playground sitting on wood chips. I park and go to get out but before I can even reach for the handle my vision starts to blur before cutting out entirely.

"Go long Garrett!" Dad called out to me and I ran past the palms and playground to the other side of the field. Dakota chasing after me.

"Ready!" I called turning around as Dad released the ball sending it through the air towards me, but it started to drop short and before I could run up to catch it Dakota jumped up and caught it in his mouth.

"Way to go Kota!" I said as he brought the ball to me.

The park came back into view for just a second before it disappeared once again.

"Cole, what are we supposed to do now?" I say, tears streaming down my face. Sitting on the swing to the right of Cole. Dad passed a couple days ago and moms been MIA since. She texted me and told me she'll be home in a couple days, but it doesn't make me feel any better.

"What we've always done." Cole sighed, not allowing any sadness to be shown on his face. "What did Dad always tell us?"

"As there is pain in life, so is there joy in death." I say responding to the question. We both fall into silence. I look around at this place Dad loved so much, all the memories we had here. I remember playing tag running around those palms with Cole. Or racing around the wood chips as Dad counted down from thirty, the goal being to see how many times we could make it around the circle before he said 0.

"Let's go back home Garrett" Cole said getting off the swing and beginning to walk along the path to the house, only a block down.

"I'm going to stay here for a little longer" I say, continuing my slight swinging.

"Okay, just be home before it gets too dark alright?" Cole calls out already thirty yards down the path.

My head aches as my vision comes back. That park in Garretts memory looked nearly identical to the one in front of me. I decide to take a look around, wondering if it really is as similar to the one in the flashback as it looks from the parking lot.

As I walk around the field my head begins to pound. The pain now searing, as if it's burning a hole in my skull. I push through the pain walking over to the playground. As soon as my feet hit the wood chips the pain hit sharply with an even stronger force. The aching so bad I fall to my knees holding my head in my hands. I attempt to walk backwards to get off the wood chips to hopefully stop this pain, and my nose starts gushing blood.

With my face bleeding and my head pounding I claw my way to the edge of the wood chips using all my force to launch my body over the boundary onto the grass. Landing face first in the dirt on the other side the pain immediately vanishes as though it was never there, and the blood stopped rushing.

I sit on the grass panic settling, wondering what to even do now. What is happening? Let's run through this real quick. This park is Garretts park? Or at least looks exactly like Garretts park? And now my memories also come with agonizing pain, and physical reactions?
Yep sounds about right. Terrifying but that is what just happened.

I call Maya after the shock settles once again feeling fear rising. It rings twice before she answers the call.

"What do you need my loovvee?" Maya says in a sing songy voice.

"Uuhh, well, umm, I, just ....idk!?" I stutter out. Okay maybe the shock hadn't quite settled yet.

"Lily, that sounds not good!" Maya basically screams back into my ear.

"Well umm. Let me just explain..." I tell her the whole story from finding the park to it being in Garretts memory, and then the pain and bleeding when I walked through it.

"Are you okay!?" Maya says fear now evident in her voice "Send me pictures right now"

I take a couple photos and send them through before walking to my car to get wipes and wipe the blood off my face.

"Ugh, Maya I wish you were here, going through all these changes with the memories alone sucks!" I don't even know how to feel anymore. Part of me is scared, worried I'm getting too in over my head with all this. But part of me knows I can't change anything, that I just have to accept each new thing and move forward with it. I used to only get a couple flashbacks a week, it was always awful when they happened at school, it got so disruptive at one point we just told the principal I had epilepsy. But lately I've been getting at least one a day, the past couple days were even worse though. Everytime I slept I was back in Garretts world, and it felt like half of everything I did while I was awake triggered a memory.

I found out about a year into the memories that some things can trigger them, I don't know exactly why or how it works but certain things always brought them on. Like petting dogs, I learned that one the hard way, which I guess is the only way, but I ended up blacking out into a memory while petting a strangers dog at the park. Drinking hot cocoa was often a trigger, Christmas was a big holiday in Garretts house. At least that is until his Dad passed, afterward his mom just let all their traditions slip through the cracks.

After finishing my conversation with Maya I drove back home, got cleaned up, and changed. Too drained to do much of anything else I spread out on my bed and allowed sleep to take me, despite knowing I'll immediately slip into Garretts life.

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