The Pieces of Me

Little Heart breaker

I can feel the sun shining through my window onto my face as I wake up slowly. Turning I see Aliya still sound asleep light snores coming from her open mouth. Chuckling at her current state I pull the blanket off myself and sit up.

Last night after she interrupted me and Garrett, we hung out and she ended up staying the night. Garrett left not long after she showed up, the awkwardness was palpable in the air.

I'm honestly glad that Aliya barged in. I feel drawn to Garrett a lot, in a way I haven't to any guy before, but the risk of what might happen is what worries me. I cannot even try to imagine how it would feel or what it would result in. If kissing Austin gets me in Garretts head, than what could kissing Garrett possibly entail.

I guess in some way I've always felt that kind of way towards Garrett, although I would never admit that to anyone. I'm sure that the idea of me liking this guy that isnt even real and I sometimes dream I am, sounds like absolute insanity. It made me feel crazy, to be drawn to a guy id never actually seen in real life, just through my own thoughts and the haze of my own mind.

I don't think I should let myself get that close to Garrett again. In fact Maya is probably right in that I should try and keep my distance as much as possible.

All the sudden it dawns on me that I've been so caught up in the project and what happened with Garrett that I'd entirely forgotten about Austins whole declaration yesterday.

It's hard because I would like to stay close with him, and I have enjoyed my time with him. I'm just not sure I'm ready for anything right now, especially considering what Garrett said about Austin and my own confusing feelings for him.

Quickly I grab my phone off my nightstand and send a message to Austin saying to meet me at Kate's Diner in an hour. I get a quick reply from him.

Austin- Ok😊

Leaving a sleeping Aliya on my bed I make a move to get dressed and do my hair so I'm ready to meet Austin. I end up wearing black flair leggings and a nirvana band tee, with a black nockneck underneath since it's still cold outside, at least it's cold for California that is.

After I throw my hair up into a top messy bun I grab my keys off the nightstand. I send a text telling Aliya I'll be back in a little while so she doesn't freak when she wakes up.

~~~~~

A small bell rings as I open the door to the diner, the smell of breakfast sandwhiches and fresh muffins wafting through the air.

I pick a booth in the corner of the dining room and settle in to wait for Austin. I showed up a little early so I could metally prepare myself. Soon after I sat a waitress came up to help me.

"What can I get for you?" She asks sweetly, her voice high and joyful. Shes an older lady her name tag reads Evelyn, and shes got a soft smile that reminds me of my mother.

"Just a caramel iced coffee." I reply with a smile, if I'm going to let Austin down the least I could do is have caffeine in my system.

Just a couple minutes later she brings my coffee back out and the ring from the bell by the door comes right after. Looking up I see Austin walking towards me his smile wide and hopeful.

Well how am I supposed to say no to a face like that? No, I think, I can't let his freakishly attractive face change my mind. Taking a deep breath I regain my composure and try and sit straight and tall.

"Hey Lils," Austin says as he sits across from me, nothing faltering his radiant smile. Except for of course what I'm about to say.

"Look Austin as much as I wish I was I'm not here for good reasons," I say soberly, trying not to let this hurt my own feelings as well as his. It's what's best though, I need to figure out how I really feel and what's really going on before I get into a relationship.

With that statement his smile slowly fades, his face now blank and more closed off then before.

"I like you too, but as a friend for now. I'm just not ready for a relationship." I say hoping it doesn't bring on a reaction that ruins our friendship as well. But to my surprise his smile returns but even bigger than before.

"You had me thinking someone died or something!" He laughed loudly clutching his stomach as I sat blank faced from shock."That's totally fine Lily, I'll just be waiting until you are, but until then...friends."

~~~~~

By the time I got back from the diner Aliya had already left. She sent me a text saying she was meeting her mom for lunch. Aliyas mom is usually out of town, she works for this big legal company and constantly goes on business trips. Shes probably only in town for a day or so before heading out again.

Garrett is coming back today for the essay part of our project and he should be her any minute. I finished our data forms yesterday while Aliya went on and on about how cute Alec was and all the sweet things he had texted her. It honestly surprised me how he acts with her since he's usually so grumpy and closed off to others.

I sit on the couch, my laptop and notebook in front of me on the coffee table while I hype myself up for yet another let down today. I don't even know what im supposed to say to Garrett because it's not like he told me he liked me, plus it had been during an experiment so he could've been just caught up in the moment.

As if on cue the doorbell rang announcing Garretts arrival. I opened the door to greet him only to be met with a bouquet of flowers. Yes it was Garrett there, but the boy had not come empty handed. He definitely was not making this easy for me.

~~~~~
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Should I write a book for Aliya and Alec?