The Pieces of Me

Football

"Garrett! Garrett! Wake up bro!" Cole is right in my face screaming in my ear. In a half asleep state I see him grab my extra pillow and before I can process what he's doing it hits me flat in the face

"Oh my God, I'm awake! I'm awake!" I yell back, "What do you need!?"

"First of all its only 7:30, why the hell are you already asleep?" Cole questions as if he doesn't know sleeping is my only hobby anymore."And second of all, Wyatts downstairs for you."

"Oh shoot, I totally forgot he was coming tonight! Umm, tell him I'll be right down." I get off my bed and scramble to my bathroom still way too asleep. I stare in the mirror once again. The sight of myself reminding me of all the pain in my life right now. I bend down and pick up my shirt off the floor to slip it back on.

"Hey Wyatt, sorry I left you down here." I say as I walk down the stairs. He's already settled himself on the couch Kota sitting next to him and is eating my chips.

"No worries bro, you ready?"

"Ya, let me just grab something to eat first" I wander into the kitchen, which is now a mess, all our bowls are out and the big utensils are strewn across the floor. Mom must've gotten up while I was sleeping. I open the fridge and grab out a bottle of water and a banana.

"Where are we going again?" I ask as I make my way back to the large family room.

"I thought we could go to the field and run some drills" Wyatt mumbles because he knows what my answer will be.

"No! Dude I told you I'm not doing football anymore, plus Coach probably wouldn't even let me back on the team, I totally threw last season, remember how he revoked my captaincy?" Wyatt looks at me and slowly nods his head "Exactly why I'm not playing this year"

"Come on, Coach loves you, plus football's your passion Garrett! Why are you letting it go?"

"You know why Wyatt." I say in a stern tone, not wanting to talk about it again, and hopefully bringing an end to the conversation. My dad got me hooked on football in middle school, it was what we always did together. He taught me how to play, and coached me to be the best player on the team. I wouldn't be anywhere in football without him. But when he passed it felt wrong to keep living out his dream for me without him here to see it. Plus I allowed myself to get so swallowed in grief that I put zero dedication into the game. I ended up throwing the season, losing every game we played, up until coach benched me.

Its so weird waking up and returning to my world, returning to myself. Sometimes the lines between our lives get blurred and I'll be so in tune with Garrett that I start to take on his attributes in my own actions and real life. Thats why I believe it was a past life of mine, because sometimes I feel so much like Garrett I could honestly be him.

I slept all the way through the night last night and was so grateful I did. I fell asleep around 7:00 and woke up this morning at 7:00 a full twelve hours is just what I needed. I get up and get dressed putting on a white hoodie and tan ribbed flare leggings. Before going downstairs to eat breakfast I open the last two boxes, one full of my decorations for my desk and walls. And the other full of my books to go on my floating shelf. I start with the decorations pinning up my photos onto the wall first and then pulling out the picture frames to sit on my desk. The last one being a photo of me and my dad in the rain under my blue umbrella.

I had Dad install my hanging shelf yesterday while I was gone to the park so I could put the books on it when I got home. Little did I know I'd be absolutely drained of any energy when I got home.

After putting my books up I can downstairs to get breakfast and decided Id try out the pool. So after eating I came back up to my room to change once again. I put on my black Calvin Klein bikini it's got a low waist with a wide white band at the top and a similar band on the bra part, and went out to the backyard.

I laid my towel down on one of our lounge chairs and set my phone on it before I dived into the water. The cool water flooding my senses felt so good. It felt like a relief from all the stress I'd been carrying around.

I swam for around an hour. Allowing the water to hold the weight of my worries. As I sit on the edge with my feet dangling in the water my phone rings.

I answer the phone to Maya.

"Guess what!?!" She squeals at me as soon as I answer.

"Umm, what?"

"I'm commiinnng!" She sings out in my ear.

"That's what she said" I say, bursting into laughter.

"Oh my God, shut up! I mean like I'm coming to see you. I convinced my parents to let me stay with you guys for a few days before school starts. I figured you'd want someone with you with all this stuff happening."

"Awww Maya, you're the sweetest! When are you gonna get here?"

"I left a couple hours ago so I'm like just over halfway to you"

"Ahh I'm so excited, when you get here we need to find something to do. I'm tired of being a homebody, I haven't done anything since the beginning of the summer"

"Oooh yes, maybe we can meet some of the kids at your new school! We should find out if there's a party going on. You remember my cousin Stella, she goes to Castlemont and she'd know of anything going on, ill text her."

"Awesome sounds great Maya, I'll see you in a bit"

"Yep, love ya!"

"Love ya Maya."

I climb out of the pool and go change back into clothes before throwing my swimsuit in the washer.

Maybe with Maya here she can help me get more settled, and hopefully keep me sane. I'm so scared to start school with the flashbacks being as bad as they are right now.

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