Yaunfen (Book three to Attraction)

15.

When I awaken, the sunlight is shining through the bedroom window causing a pretty glow to elucidate the room. I sit up in bed turning to look to my left, where Seth sleeps is empty, my head turns to the nightstand, there is a small piece of paper beside my phone. I pick it up and read it.

Hazel, you looked so peaceful sleeping when I got up for work this morning, I didn't want to disturb you. There's a bagel with cream cheese on the kitchen counter for you. Stay as long as you'd like. I also left a spare house key under the mat outside for you so you can lock up the place if you decide to leave.

Seth.

The corners of my lips turn upright after I read the note he left. I grab my phone to check the time, it's nine AM. I have one missed call from my mom, that was from last night, I decide on calling her back. I press the phone to my ear as it rings and I wait for her to pick up, she answers by the fourth ring.

"How are you feeling this morning? You didn't want to come home?" Her voice is sweet and pleasing.

"I feel a little bit better. I'll be home later today." I tell her.

"Well I'm home, and so is your dad. We both have off today— what are the odds. So come home whenever you're ready." She responds.

"I just don't want dad to make a big deal when I get there. We've been fighting so much lately..."

"Don't worry about him. I know it seems like he's mad at you, but you're not the one he's mad at. He loves you." She assures me. It doesn't feel that way... It feels like he's mad at Conner and me.

"Well... I'll see you in a bit. I love you." I reply. I don't mean to sound like I am ignoring her previous words, but I just don't want to talk about my dad right now.

"I love you, too."

Our call ends and I get out of bed and put my underwear back on from last night. I run my fingers through my long brown hair as I recall everything that transpired between Seth and I within the last twenty-four hours. I am fully and completely aware that I do have a boyfriend... Things are obviously quite rocky and confusing between us right now... Which isn't an excuse for what I did again with Seth last night, but when I am around him it's like my body begins to crave him furiously. It's like, when I'm around him I have no control. Thinking about it now, I feel like that's a bad thing. I know last night he was just trying to take my mind off of everything, he was obviously trying to be a good friend to me... a really good friend. But with that being said, that can't happen again. It just can't. As amazing as it was and felt, that can't happen anymore. I can't just run to him for pleasure and a distraction no matter how badly I might want to... Even if it does just feel so right with him.

I take a seat on the barstool near the kitchen and begin eating my bagel while checking my phone. My eyes read over my most recent text from Conner, it's kind of long. He sent it at 6AM this morning.

Hazel, I'm so sorry. I've been terrible to you. I'm a bad person for hurting you like I have been. But I don't want to be like this... I want to change for you. You make me want to be a better person. I want to get help... I really do. I know I need it. It's not normal to get that level of angry and to just hurt the person you're supposed to love. I've had issues with doing stuff like this to girlfriends in the past, and when I met you I told myself I wasn't going to do it again... But I have. I'm going to get help. I really do love you... I've loved you for weeks now but I just held back on saying it because I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. It's okay if you don't want to say it back, you don't have to. I'm gonna get help. I love you.