Yaunfen (Book three to Attraction)

16.

Can we talk? It's a text from Conner.

I know he wants to change and I know he's super upset with himself, but I'm still kind of upset with him for bruising up my face the other day. My phone vibrates.

Your mom called mine and just told her everything. Conner is beating you?! We need to talk. This is not okay. Why didn't you tell me? I've been crying because I'm so worried about you.

It's from McKenna, my heart sinks. Great... Thanks for telling people mom. Just great. I don't text McKenna back either, I just want to shut the world out and hang out with Seth right now. My head is laying on his lap as he plays with my hair, we've been making small talk for the past few hours.

"Can I ask you something without you getting upset?" He suddenly speaks. I have a feeling I know where this conversation is going to go.

"Yes"

"Are you going to go back to him?" Dread lingers in his voice. I don't answer him immediately, I pause and take my time.

"I don't know. Probably. He sent me this really long text this morning about how he's in love with me and he's sorry." I tell him. His face falls, he looks upset now.

Neither one of us says anything now.

"How can you possibly go back to him after this? How can you believe that he loves you?"

"Well I'm probably not going to see him anywhere but school now because my dad took my car." I admit, I feel so ashamed of myself right now for some reason and I don't know why.

"I think he does love me... in his own fucked up way."

It's quiet again.

"I would never do this to you." He speaks gently, I sit up and look at him.

"I know." My eyes begin to water but I blink away the tears.

"Hazel, I love you." His voice sounds so desperate and pained in this moment as his eyes search mine.

I love you too Seth, but you don't love me the way I love you and that kills me inside. You'll never love me the way I love you and that's the heart breaking truth to all of this. I think to myself.
He pulls me in as his arms wrap around me, I bury my face in his chest as he just holds me like that.

"I love you too." I manage out through my tears.

When we slowly pull away from each other, our faces remain close. Too close. I glance down at his lips as he begins to slowly lean in, what are we doing? Why aren't I pulling away from him? I close my eyes when his lips press down against mine. They're so soft and warm, he holds my face in his hands so gently and so carefully as if he is afraid I am going to break into a thousand tiny pieces. He continues to hungrily kiss me and I do not try to put a stop to it like I probably should be doing. Seth lays me back against the couch as he hovers over me, his lips are still attacking my own.

This is the most peaceful I've felt all day, this is the most calm and free I've felt throughout this entire day. Right here, right now, I feel like I am so light and carefree. Being here with Seth as we continue to make out makes me feel like life is being breathed back into my body. I'm not sure how long we have been laying here making out, but I am not complaining in any way shape or form. When our lips part, Seth and I gaze into each other's eyes. There is something in gaze that holds me, a deep fond emotion that he is looking at me with that I can put my finger on.

"Please... Don't go back to him." He begs, I can hear the desperation in his voice.

As I look up at him, I suddenly feel this strong urge to please him, the urge to do whatever he asks of me. Anything to make him happy.