Trigger warning for sexual assault, grooming, mental health issues and suicidal thoughts/attempts
This is my vent book about my SA trauma, I use this as one of my coping mechanisms, to help other victims and to bring awareness.
Today is the 14th of November 2023, making it the 5 year anniversary of my SA and the beginning of me being gr00med.
I've always struggled with the day of my anniversary, especially as it also happens to be a close friend's birthday, I've never been able to celebrate him on his special day because it was tarnished by the memory of what Tali did to me this time 5 years ago. Thankfully he's very understanding, so doesn't mind that I often miss him birthday parties. He knows I still care for him, even if I can't spend his special day with him.
My mental health hasn't been the best recently, the only way I'm getting through it right now is therapy and knowing christmas is nearly here, so I decided to have a self care day and then bake a carrot cake. I also walked my dog, Zorro, and took some photos of the beautiful trees as it's autumn in the uk right now.
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(My dad decided to decorate it before I could, but it's still cute and it tastes f*cking amazing lol)
I started going to weekly therapy in august, which has definitely helped with my healing journey, as well as pointing out other parts of me that needed healing along with 14 year old me who dealt with what Tali did to me and suffered in silence for nearly 3 years. My healing is definitely progressing with therapy, but I still have a long way too go.
Right now I'm focusing on how in two more anniversaries, I'll have regenerated every cell in my body, meaning Tali will have never touched that Tilly. My memories won't have faded, but I'm sure I'll feel some relief knowing my body I'd finally clean of her.
If any other survivors are reading and struggling with their healing journey, my pms are always open for you. Whether you need someone to talk to, advice or someone to be angry with, I'm always here for you <3
