maybe if you'd shown me more love and affection, rather than shunning me away after hitting puberty and 'becoming a woman'
i wouldn't have been so desperate to feel loved and wanted, my naivety wouldn't have been taken advantage of.
and i wouldn't have thought what she did to me was loving or affectionate,
and that night never would've traumatized me
or the next eight months of her grooming me.
i just wanted to be loved.
i still just want you to show me love, affection and be proud of me.
but you continue to shun me away,
you have no idea who 19 year old me is, because you abandoned parenting me at 10.
expecting me to still be the same after all these years,
years of being made to worthless, disappointing and unwanted.
you can't fix our bond, you're far too late.
YOU ARE READING
give me back my girlhood
Non-FictionTrigger warning for sexual assault, grooming, mental health issues and suicidal thoughts/attempts This is my vent book about my SA trauma, I use this as one of my coping mechanisms, to help other victims and to bring awareness.