☆Put Your Curse In Reverse☆

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FOB Title Credits:

Song- The Kid's Aren't Alright
Album- American Beauty/American Psycho

*IM GOING TO UP THE GAME ON THIS PILE OF SHIT AND MAKE THINGS INTENSEEEE. Nah I've had the plot in my head for months now and it only gets worse from here on out. Whoooooooosh:3*

Pete's POV

The house seemed cold without Patrick. I want to find him, bring him back to safety. Bring him back to me. But he ran, ran so hard and so fast; he looked at me like I was his enemy. I only wanted to help him. I didn't want to scare him, I cant even begin to fathom how much I love him, I just want to help him. Why can't he see that? I'm not angry, I'm not disappointed, I'm not anything of the sorts with him but only with myself.

I felt so bitterly alone without Patrick. I want to relive his lips on mine, his soft touch and his beautiful eyes. I want to be able to gaze all day and everyday into them, I want to hold him close and protect him from the demons outside the door, I want to be the first thing he will see in the morning but most of all I want to see his smile once more, I want it so bad. I want to be the reason he smiles, I want to be the hero of his nightmares and the laughter in his dreams, I want my bestfriend back but I want so much more.

I felt so dispaired without Patrick. He always knew how to cheer me up, my bad days weren't so bad if he was there holding me tight, fighting against the voices in my head. He knew how I liked my coffee, he knew how to fold my clothes ready for tour, he knew my weaknesses when we fought but he knew my strengths well enough to not take that arguement so far. He knew what film to put on when I was too lazy to get out of bed, he knew I don't like odd numbers so the volume on the TV would always be even. He knew what ticked me off and he knew how to use that against me so I would give in to him. He knew everything about me.

But I don't think he knows how much I love him, how much I've fallen for my perfect angel. He doesn't know how many times I've watched YouTube videos of his work, he doesn't know I learnt all the lyrics to his songs, he doesn't know that I went to all his local shows, he doesn't know I have his CDs, he doesn't know how much I really care for him and it really fucking hurts.

I need to find him.

I looked at the ticking clock to my right, 21:17. It's been over four hours since Patrick fled from me. Too much time has passed and all I've done was let myself be swallowed by my thoughts and metaphorically drown in my own tears. I'm just too pathetic. Why didn't I run after him? I knew I wasn't wanted. He pushed me away, the fear in his eyes blackholed the light from the room and brung out the ebony from within.

I fucked up. I questioned him. I frightened him. I need him back, I need to hold him again just so he knows im here no matter what, I feel so lost.

My chest hurts as I think about how much I miss seeing him, it's painful to think about where he might be and its agony to imagine how he's feeling.

The only thing that's stopping me from going to find him is the knowledge that he probably doesn't want to be found, he doesn't want to see what caused him to flee, what fucked him up.

The darkness from out the window mirrored my reflection, all I could see was ebony and lonesome stars in the abyss beyond me. The sky above seemed so close but in reality it was very away, just how Patrick is to me. I just want to cry, scream and let the whole world know how much I hurt but the tears weren't there and my voice was gone, dry swallowing my words as I stared up at the stars wondering how many I could count before I fell asleep.

My eyes felt heavy and the stars seemed to fade above me as I sat on my windowsill with my childhood blanket over me, I was content here with the dark skies for company whilst I watched and waited for Patrick's return.

He will come back to me. I know he will.

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Seeing is deceiving.
Dreaming is believing.

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Well this was short because I just wanted to chuck a bit of Pete in here, um if you're thinking how slow this is going, let me just say it's how I like to write and I'm really sorry about that but it's how it's going to be👌🏻

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So the night is over,
-shesmywinona27

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