Hands | DNF

29.

We frantically scattered and I turned around as Clay looked around trying to find his shirt which had been thrown on the floor somewhere. He was putting it on as a very cheerful Sapnap burst through the door. He looked between Clay putting his shirt on and my red face and a few seconds later he realized what had happened.

"Sooo this is what you guys have been up to. I called it! David owes me 50 bucks. You guys make me both so happy and so rich at the same time. "

"What did you need Nick?"

Clay had seen no point in trying to deny and hide it.

"Oh yeah. David told me to get you. He had an idea."

I went downstairs just to see my brother wearing a fishing hat and these dumb sunglasses that he loved so much for no reason.

"Get ready we are going fishing!" He yelled in excitement once he saw us coming down the stairs.

I just stared at him. I didn't know how to feel right now. I didn't enjoy fishing that much since it was something that left me with my thoughts for a long time.
David however loved it and it made him happy when i went with him. I liked seeing him happy so I just pretended to love it as well.

"Give me 5 minutes!" I exclaimed sounding as excited as I could.

I went back upstairs to my room where I put on some black cargo pants and my light blue hoodie. I also grabbed a white cap and stuffed my hair under it.

I went downstairs to find the guys loading the car with fishing gear. When David saw me he just ran inside to grab the last things and loaded them in the car.

David was the driver and next to him was Nick. I sat behind David and Clay behind Sapnap.

Of course my brother couldn't pick a close location we were driving probably around 20 mins before I saw Clay messaging someone. Curiousity got the better of me so I peaked.

Of course it was Lisa! Lisa was a girl Clay met around two years ago. He introduced her to both Sapnap and me. At fist I liked her a lot, there was nothing not to like. She even lived close by so we actually hanged out rarely but still it was nice.

With time however I felt more off and off about her. This opinion was not shared by Clay and Nick. So i just decided to keep my distance. I also didn't want to talk to people so it was not that much about her as it was about me.

For the next hour before we arrived I could see Clay texting her and smiling. You would think that I was jealous and you would be sort of right. During that one hour I tried to look out of the window and distract myself and fight so that the tears didn't escape my eyes. Every time I glanced at Clay it seemed like my speculation from the past year was correct.

He liked her.

Rage was another emotion trying to come through, because in a way he was playing with me and my emotions.

Sadness was a stronger emotion in comparison with Rage. The voice in my head was reassuring me that I had been just hopeful that I was finally chosen when in reality I was once again second place.

These thoughts continued the entire day. I just stayed silent lost in thought and looking at the fishing line.

An entire day of self hatred was not what I imagined for today but that's exactly what it was.

Once we got back Will came over and encouraged us all to play some card game. I just nodded and agreed.