You look so happy,
You talk about your crushes so much, it starts to sound sappy
I sit here staring at the screen and hear my heart slowing down,
I hear it cracking, tearing
My breath stopping, my throat starting to tighten, my eyes starting to water
Looking at every word standing proud in White on black at the chat in this minute
My heart sinking deeper.
You talking about other people with so much love.
You adore them with all your heart, just speaking highly
Talking about your heart belonging to someone else.
It's funny how I thought I could ever be loved by you, knowing that there is nothing more
It's like I knew it from the start.
Oh how God must laugh right now,
I know God hates me, he always did, he always will
How much longer do I have to get kicked in the dirt
God does not have a plan for me
So just breath, smile through the pain
Try to act like you did before, wait till it drained you dry
Just keep smiling, just keep smilling, just keep...
The mask cracks, tears streaming
Oh how messed up my mind is.
I am so stupid to think I will ever be loved back
How much do I have to shoulder to get lucky
Oh how tempting a bridge now seems
I see the abyss reaching it's shadows for me
Here I am ready to let it swallow me again
How tempting death feels in those moments
I am tired of trying, I am tired of waiting, I am tired of chasing, I AM TIRED OF LIVING
So how bad is it again.
It's so bad that I feel like I am not loveable.
I know the shadows are the ones talking, but who is to judge a heart who was let down her whole life
I am stupid for believing I could be the one
But always the comedic relief, never the friend who gets the guy
So I stand by the side cheering you on.
Silently bleeding out by the knifes I have sunken in my own heart by knowing I would never have a chance.
But as long as your smile is bright, as long there is light in your eyes
I am willing to die
As long as you chase them without seeing me who is by your side
It will be enough, it will hurt me and kill me again, but it will be enough
Even if I loved you from the first time I met your eyes,
Even if I loved you from the first words spoken from your mouth
Even if I loved you for a year now
But you will be happy, I know for sure
But you will love her
while I love you from a distance.
But I know when I have to give up
So it will be ^-^ and :) ,because smile through your pain and pretend to be the same
Just keep pretending, keep your tears inside, just smile and support like always.
Never me, but always the pretty girl
