~<*>~ Pain in me ~<*>~

Chapter 19

Dino smiles amused as he sits on the couch at home. Scoups is in his room and Dino did get mad at him, but only because he once again didn't believe him. Dino is now more than sure that Joshua is the reason behind everything, that he is the ninth member of Stray kids. And the fact Joshua has this much power doesn't sit right with Dino. But when Scoups arrived home, they had a little moment where Dino could feel how hard Scoups is trying to believe him. Dino knows his roommate wants to, but he doesn't see any proof. So now, Dino is going to get him proof and boom, problem solved. Scoups will believe him, Joshua will get caught and they will all live happily ever after. The only problem is that Dino has no clue how to prove Joshua's evilness. And that's when it hits him, he just has to do what he always does when he's stuck. Going to Wonwoo and asking him for advice. Excited and without telling Scoups something, Dino leaves the apartment towards his best friend. But in his haste, Dino forgot to let Aylen know he won't be home.

Half an hour later, he's already knocking on Wonwoo's front door. Sadly, Joshua is the one opening the door. His expression darkens immediatly and the disgust almost drips off his face.
"What are you doing here? Are you going to blame me for what happened, or for the fight you have with Scoups?" the leader asks, trying to sound unbothered.
"I'm not here to fight, I'm here to see Wonwoo", Dino replies.
"I don't think that's a good idea, Wonwoo and Mingyu need their rest, they can't deal with your problems as well", Joshua objects and Dino grunts irritated.
"I know about Mingyu's slow recovery, Wonwoo told me. So can you please let me in, I will be very careful", Dino says while he stares into Joshua's eyes, doing his best to convince him. Eventually, Joshua sighs and lifts his shoulders.
"You would get in anyway and I'm leaving right now, so I guess it's fine. But you get the hell out of here when Wonwoo tells you so", Joshua threatens Dino before he makes his way towards the exit and Dino stands in front of the empty doorway. Slowly, he steps inside, looking around for someone to be there.
"Hello?" Dino asks softly as he walks towards the bedrooms. Right when Dino wants to look inside of one, Mingyu comes out of the other one. When he sees Dino, he squeaks startled and almost jumps in the air. 
"God, you startled me!" Mingyu exclaims out of breath and Dino bows his head down apologizing.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I was just trying to find Wonwoo, I would want to talk to him", Dino apologizes, but Mingyu shakes his head softly.
"I don't think that's a good idea right now, he's sleeping and I don't want to wake him up", Mingyu says in denial and Dino looks at him worried.
"It seems to be normal that you guys sleep during the day", Dino notices and Mingyu sighs as he walks towards the front door to close it.
"We need our rest, it's a rought time, you know. But you can wait here until Wonwoo wakes up", Mingyu suggests while he closes the front door.
"Thanks", Dino says thankful after he seated himself at the kitchen table. Mingyu goes to sit in front of him and Dino notices that he looks extremely tired. His eyes soften with worry while he leans forward.
"Are you okay? You seem tired", Dino asks and Mingyu only shrugs.
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm okay. I really am. My situation sucks and I'm sure some people are doing better than I am, but I know for a fact that there are also people who are doing worse", Mingyu says as he glances at Wonwoo's room.
"Are you worried about Wonwoo?" Dino asks kindly, following Mingyu's eyes.
"Yes, I am," Mingyu admits, "he's so..." Mingyu sighs defeated without finishing his sentence. It breaks Dino's heart to see his friend like this. Dino also realizes he actually has no right to be here asking Wonwoo for advise. He's doing way better than Wonwoo is, how is it fair that Dino only stops by when he needs Wonwoo's help?
"But why are you so concerned? I mean, you're the one who has a slow recovery and needs to rest and needs to be taken care of and such", Dino reasons confused. Something about this whole situation just doesn't sit right with him.
"Because Wonwoo is also just a human. And he's overworking himself so much it scares me. I know my boundaries, Wonwoo doesn't. And the fact I'm the one who's 'sick', is the problem", Mingyu states, his eyes heavy with tears that are trying to escape.
"What do you mean?" Dino asks confused, but careful.
"Wonwoo is scared to lose me, that's why he's pushing his boundaries to make sure I am comfortable, healthy, still alive. But in the meantime, he's the total opposite and now I'm scared to lose him. But every time I try to make it clear to him, he waves it off like it is nothing." Dino nods understanding and he has to admit that he starts to worry now too. This can't be healthy for Wonwoo, neither for Mingyu.
"I mean, it's winter. Almost Christmas. What if Wonwoo doesn't make Christmas? What if he gets a burn-out, or worse, what if he dies out of exhaustion? Can you even die out of exhaustion?" Mingyu is starting to rant and Dino notices the tear rolling down. Full of pity, Dino gets up and walks over to Mingyu to hug him tight. The taller lets his head rest on Dino's chest and the younger feels the sadness flow inside of him. Mingyu is carrying so many things, both fysically as emotionally. Mingyu has to recover, but he also has to worry about Wonwoo the whole time. It must be so hard for him. 
"Can't Joshua look after him too? It shouldn't be you and Wonwoo only", Dino suggests and Mingyu exhales in denial.
"He's assuming Wonwoo is looking after me. He's not home at all lately and he probably doesn't even realize how bad the situation is", Mingyu mumbles and Dino feels anger rising up inside of him. Of course Joshua is gone often, he's doing secret things with Jisung. Jisung, another one of Dino's concerns. Why can't the world just give him peace for once?
"He realizes," Dino says, "he just doesn't want to accept it."
"You may be right", Mingyu mutters while sudden sounds come out of Wonwoo's bedroom. Wonwoo grunts softly and Mingyu frees himself from Dino's hug to get up.
"I'll go", Mingyu says, but Dino takes his hand.
"I can go too", Dino suggests, but Mingyu harshly pulls his hand out of Dino's.
"No, I'll go", he snaps and the sudden anger confuses Dino while he watches Mingyu walk over to Wonwoo's room. He hears some muffled voices and some minutes later, Mingyu walks back outside. 
"Wonwoo will be here soon. He's happy you're here", Mingyu says, the anger is already gone. Dino nods and looks outside to kill the time. But his eyes widen as he notices small, white things falling down. He rushes towards the window excited to have a better look.
"What is it?" Mingyu asks confused, but he also sounds really concerned.
"It's snowing!" Dino exclaims happily while he watches the snowflakes touch the ground. Mingyu's lips form into a bright smile as he watches it too.
"It's beautiful", he mumbles satisfied and Dino feels like a toddler again.
"Should we go outside to play in the snow?" Dino asks and Mingyu nods agreeing.
"Of course, why not? You can go, Wonwoo and I will be right behind you", Mingyu says with a smile and Dino nods before he takes his jacket, puts it on and runs outside. He loves snow, it's beautiful, cold and perfect. Dino soon feels a snowflake land on his nose and his smile widens, how he missed this, it's been forever since he saw snow again. He wonders if Scoups ever played in the snow.
"Dino?" a familiar voice sounds from behind him.
"Jun?" Dino smiles recognizing his ex-teammate walking towards him. His nose is red from the cold weather, but Dino doesn't mind.
"What are you doing here?" Jun asks and Dino wants to answer, but right at that moment Wonwoo and Mingyu appear outside. Both are dressed warmly, Mingyu wears a scarf and gloves, Wonwoo is wearing a beanie and a warm coat. Dino watches Jun's eyes lighting up when he sees the two walking towards them. Without any hesitation, he runs towards them and hugs them tight. Wonwoo and Mingyu are surprised at first, but they too are really happy to see Jun again.
"This is a wonderful day", Wonwoo says happy, his eyes are sparkling from joy. 
"Cold, but wonderful", Jun says while his breath turns into a cloud. 
"I should have dressed warmer", he adds and Dino examines the older quickly. His brown hair is in a tiny pony-tail and he is only wearing a coat, which indeed does not look warm at all. 
"Here", Mingyu says as he offers Jun his scarf. Jun widens his eyes surprised, but accepts it anyway.
"Thanks", Jun mumbles before he puts on the scarf. Dino stares at the scene confused, why would Mingyu help Jun when he's not healthy himself?
"Let's play!" Wonwoo offers, but a cough cuts off his excitement. Mingyu grabs Wonwoo's arm worried, but the roommate with glasses roughly pulls his arm away.
"I'm fine", he snaps and he walks off while the three others stare at him. Mingyu glances at Dino with a look in his eyes Dino doesn't understand before he runs after Wonwoo. Now Jun and Dino are left alone speechless.
"What was that?" Jun asks shocked and Dino takes a deep breath, doubting whether he should tell him or not. But the concern overwhelmes him and he can no longer keep quiet.
"Mingyu is doing bad, really bad", Dino blurts out and Jun widens his eyes.
"What?" he asks shocked.
"He's not healthy, his recovery is way slower than usual. Wonwoo is looking after him, but I think it's still going bad." Jun looks at the two a few meters away with an examining look in his eyes while he takes the words in.
"Are you sure it's Mingyu who's doing bad?" he asks, doubting the situation.
"What do you mean?" Dino asks shocked. He doesn't get why Jun would doubt them.
"Why would Mingyu offer me his scarf instead of Wonwoo when he's doing bad? Wonwoo could've easily given me his beanie," Jun reasons, "and look at them. I wouldn't guess Mingyu is doing bad." Dino follows Jun's eyes and looks at the duo. Wonwoo is making a snowball while Mingyu is watching him. Dino frowns, isn't this proof that Mingyu is the one doing bad?
"I don't see anything suspicious. And besides, why would they lie about something as serious as this?" Dino mumbles and Jun looks at him in thought.
"Maybe they don't want to share it yet. I know Mingyu and Wonwoo, they aren't a big fan of attention", Jun says and Dino opens his mouth in defense.
"But I know them too!" he exclaims, but Jun's eyes make him insecure.
"Do you really?" he asks and those words are enough to put Dino's mind in action.
"Yeah, I believe I do...", Dino mutters, but his voice reveals his uncertainty.
"I don't want to make you feel bad, but I don't think you do. Do you know their favorite food? Their irritations? Their small habits? Do you even visit them often?" Jun's questions cut Dino's skin like a knife.
"I..., I...", Dino stutters, but no words want to come out. He looks at Wonwoo and Mingyu again, now they're both making a snowman, but it looks like Mingyu is doing all the hard work like rolling the snow. Wonwoo is only decorating and watching. The scene makes Dino doubt, is Jun right? Are Wonwoo and Mingyu hiding something? Is Mingyu really not the one doing bad? And if that's the case, why would Wonwoo lie to his best friend?