Mysteries Unraveled: Rules Broken, Hearts Awoken

Vulnerable

Eddie's POV

"Where'd you go?" I ask when Sam gets back on the bed.

"Get some water, had a piece of pizza." She says a little quietly, sounding contemplative.

"You alright?"

"Yeah... Steve and I talked."

Shit. Did he tell her? No, Steve wouldn't do that. He wouldn't just tell her about the Upside Down and what happened. Maybe he told her about Hopper thinking we should watch her. I could hear a little bit but I stopped listening.

"About what?" I ask.

"You mostly." She answers. "He really cares about you."

"Look, if he was mean or weird, that's just Steve. He's protective, everyone's mom."

"No, he wasn't. I just." She takes a deep breath.

"What is it?" I ask and sit up.

I'm wide awake now, there's something wrong.
Shit. She's going to end things already.

"I'm not ok. I don't know how to handle any of the shit that's happened the last couple days. I'm just. I'm really trying, I am, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to drag you into all my shit and I don't like how. Fuck. This is going to sound so pathetic and rude but I don't like how much I already feel like I need you. I don't want to need you. I don't want to be the girl that gets a boyfriend and is just clingy and dependent."

She needs me. I know she thinks that's bad and pathetic but I want her to need me. Not in a way that she can't do anything without me but the same all consuming way I feel like I need to be around her. Want to be around her as much as possible.

"You don't sound pathetic." I tell her but she doesn't look convinced.

Shit, come on, Munson. You gotta do better than that.

"I do. I know I do. I don't want this. This feeling." She says and shifts away a little.

No. She's freaked already and calling it. No.

"You don't want this?" I ask, trying to swallow my own nerves.

"No. I mean. I want us. You. I just don't want this feeling like. Fuck." She sighs. "I was told my entire childhood to control my emotions, don't show them, don't... feel them. Then I was wrong because I didn't feel them anymore. I was pretty much numb and then you come along and. You're confusing. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel or say or do."

Her parents fucked with her head. What the fuck is wrong with them? She doesn't even know how to handle actually liking someone or me wanting to be with her. She doesn't know how to be vulnerable without feeling weak.

"We'll figure it out. No pressure, remember?" I tell her and find her in the dark, not sure how to make this better for her.

"I'm sorry. I should have just kept my mouth shut." She says as I hold her.

"No. I'm glad you told me. You can tell me anything, Sam. I'm sorry your parents messed with your head so much and I don't really get it, but I'm going to try."

She finally settles into my arms and speaks after a long pause.

"They were trying to help. My parents. I used to have these... episodes? When they first took me in. I honestly don't really remember them but I'd get too worked up and pass out. My dad thought that if I could just control my emotions or not really feel them that maybe it would stop. It did, but I don't think he expected it to make me so... cold. Cut off."