Dear Diary

loving him was pink

Loving him is like driving a new Maserati
Down a dead end street....
Faster than the wind
Passionate as sin
Ending so suddenly ~~~

This T guy idk what he wants from me . But he just keeps meddling into my mind and soul all the time . But we haven't even talked . Funny innit' ...
Well ....the thing is he talks a lot and with everyone but me
And it's not like I want him to or smthn(do I?)

Whatever it is ,he makes me so mad . He acts like he doesn't study but still manages to score the max .
Like WTF is wrong with you ...and why would you put on a show for that srsly.

Okay...straight to the point.He likes me. Period.
And I'm not being delulu . This time is fr . And I'm gonna tell everything in detail.

So starting off with the very first time or encounter .
In this batch there are many boys who like me or admire me from afar and idk why . I mean I can sense it if someone likes me . and if I had been 1 or 2 years younger from now ,I'd have gone crazy by now . Fr like my 15 yr old self would have been jumping up and down with excitement. My 16 yr self did experience the flutters tho.
So I can say that I had a thing with a boy when I was 16 .
And this was followed by my glow up sort of .at 17
Like all I did was change my hairstyle and my dressing sense and my skin got clearer .thanks to my haircare 😂

And then the boy saga began ...like crazy
I literally thought no boy would ever like me but God proved me wrong .He was just waiting for the best time .and I'm forever grateful. Thanks universe...
And so yes ... basically I started to get attention from boys and also some creeps but yeah I managed it somehow .
And I became used to boys looking at me .
But till this day I feel that inner happiness whenever it happens .it's just a thing that never gets old.

I got a bit off topic .
So yeah , even after all this ,never in a thousand years could I have thought that he would like Me...
I mean I did have a few eye contacts with the A guy before.
But it was yk I didn't think about it much . And the fact that I couldn't imagine them liking me is because they are the toppers but boy was I wrong ....
They are humans like you .they are boys . They are teenagers .they have hormones.they have libido .
So why the hell would you think that huh...
Idk I just downgrade myself everytime .thanks to all the negativity around me . So I came to the conclusion that I look better than I think I do...
Ughh I always go offtrack

So on the very first day , i was late😑. I had to sit on the last bench for the first class and then I saw him from behind .just curious as to how do toppers attend classes.
And just that ....I swear . And then after the class he came to sit on the last bench .he didn't see me then. I had my hood on . Then on the second day he saw me . And did he just fall for me at the very first glance . Because I remember that he only saw me once and then couldnt stop🤭🤭
And then he started flipping his pen in the air just so I will look at him . And I did and istg he smiled ofc not looking in my dirn but he too must have seen it from periphery as I could see he was trying not to smile .
And I didn't think about it much , but then when I was going to the canteen with my friend , he was coming back and again eye contact.
Well then we went to go buy smthn but he didn't go back .
Instead I saw him in the canteen again .
He should have been gone by then .right?
But he didn't , instead when I was on my way back .he came from behind us .
There was this guy blocking our way and he came from behind and put his hand on his back and cleared our way .
It was so fluttering🦋🦋
The way he emerged from behind and tapped his hand .
And the next day he literally checked me out . That day I was going crazy like anything .not being able to believe that a guy like him could be interested in this stuff . And I didn't look at him while he was looking at me . Ofc that would have made things so awkward . And also he tried to do it subtly .but i can catch any movement in my periphery whatsoever .
So yeah there was this girl sitting beside me and just beside her in the next row was him .and they knew each other . So he was again and again talking to her and discussing just so he could look at me 🤭🤭🦋🦋
Omg I'm not being delulu.its the truth
He first checked out my thighs and then when I was leaning a bit while solving ques .he even stared at my chest . And then I concluded that he is just one of those perverted boys . Men will be men . You can't change human instincts . And what not.
And so I stopped paying as much attention to him .he tried to see me so many times. I started to dislike him . I even hated him as he was so perfect and knew everything.
.
And this one time when me and my friend were talking about some boy stuff . We were discussing about a msg I got from a boy and stuff . She started teasing me and then I tried to stop her . As she's literally so loud . everyone could have heard it . So I just said that I'm not interested in boys and anyone right now.
And oopsie.. I think he heard it. as He was close by.
But he must not be listening to our convo ...right?
The aftermath suggested smthn else tho.
He completely ignored me after that . And idk why but I was so angry at him . Like it's not his fault .it's not like he committed to u or smthn .
But wouldn't that make ANYONE mad ...srsly
Why does he have to be such a jackass and annoying ass all the time .
And after that I really hated him like crazy,was even sad about the fact that he lost his bloody goddamn" interest" in me .
Why would you do that srsly .
For a boy who doesn't fit your standards in any possible way ,well maybe some of them 😑
I mean he is smart and intelligent .
And is uhmmmmmmmm a smooth talker
He can speak so well
That's the only reason I'm attracted to him I swear ....
You might as well check my choice list ...
And he is taller than me ,like not too tall but not too short
either ...
And yeah he stopped after that . Or so I thought .I mean even after that he did sometimes do things to look at me or make me look at him ,by dropping things,or asking ridiculous doubts in the class . Just so I would look at him . And speaking loudly to gain attention. He's such an attention seeker ...anyways...
So this one day I had conditioned my hair and they were looking so good.... I don't use conditioners but I did that day as it was our photo day in school...
And my hair was wet even after 6 hrs so I had to clutch my hair and leave them open and straight away went to the academy....
And I kept my hood on in the first class ... Trying to not attract people *cough cough*
But still there is this one boy who literally is whipped for me . Quite literally.
We'll talk about him latuh...
And in the second class I only put out my hood not the hair ,which were tucked inside my jacket .
It is a hassle to handle them srsly .
And this one action of mine made so many people to look at me and even girls .
Like I could see that topper dhwani , and the ones beside me looking at me like I'm super pretty or smthn .
Well thats why they were looking at you but....not just girls
Well I think it caught his attention too .he started to act up again. And well as much as I want to get out and roam around I can't. People looking at me gives me the creeps ...
And then in the 3rd class I took them out of the jacket and let them loose but still clutched ofc ...
As I thought my hair looked messy and disheveled ,which is the last thing I want .....
And then I stroked them quite a few times to detangle them a bit and adjusted it ....
And then Tan was about to leave .as he skips the last class of botany ,to study ofc.
But then his driver was late and then he remained in the class.
Well then he came. And sat on the chair in front and was calling someone with his iPhone (he's rich)😶like how perfect is he going to be ....
And then gave me some glances too . I was studying or pretending to maybe . That boy makes me nervous and soooo conscious of my self.