Dear Diary

pretty ME!!

Pehle bhi Mann Mera
Raaton me
Aksar hi chahat ke haa sapne sanjotaa tha
Pehle bhi dhadkan ye dhun koi gaati thi
Par ab jo ho hota hai wo pehle na hota tha
Hua hai tujhe Jo bhi jo bhi
Mujhe bhi is bar hua
To kyo na mai bhi keh du keh du
Hua mujhe bhi pyar hua

So a sequel ig.....
Being pretty is something I felt long back . But that diminished after puberty .  Like I started to feel so ugly, I rarely click any photos of myself even now. But it all changed in 12th grade . Ofcourse I didn't change . I am the same chubby girl . But what changed was my perspective towards beauty and myself . I started to dress according to my body type . Did my hair according to my face . And there's no going back . These small things can completely change the way you're perceived by people around you. .
And ik that looks and beauty aren't everything. That's why I'm studying hard but god doesnt it help
Like you feel pretty , you feel good you study good. But yeah it has become a distraction for me nowadays. Because of pink.....he wasn't the first one who made me feel pretty but one of the most recent ones.....duhh

I remember most of the times when it happened . Like when people commented about my hair in the past. That one time , that older girl complimented me . That time when a teacher said I looked cute. That time when aunts complimented my hair and asked me about it .that time in 8th grade when your fav teacher said how cute you looked  and how your eyes looked like they were super bright and sparkle .it was one of the best compliments I've ever received. She said I looked like jaadu 🙃 k
That time when the one I got over with complimented me . The time when the H guy wanted to sit with me gosh🦋. That time I had like 2 pigtails .they looked so cute ,made me look super adorable. Also all the times I wash my hair ,I feel so pretty . And specially so when I condition them . Coming into more detail ...
This one time when I had absolutely put no effort and just braided my hair into a simple fishtail. But with my purple scrunchie ,it looked super pretty . More when I put in front . And I remember how that prachi girl looked at me once and then again turned back to see me . As if  I looked super pretty or smthn .Istg you know you're pretty when even girls show that you do or compliment you ....
And this one time ,when I tried a new hairstyle. The one I absolutely adore and die for, now that you ask me.
Yeah so , everyone said I looked super cute . One of my friend even said I looked pretty , but I didn't believe her uk .I always thought that being skinny =being beautiful .
Ig not always. But I started to do that hairstyle more often and yeah I looked and felt good about myself . People started to look at me more often than usual. It was a new feeling for me  . And not the dirty looks okay, I mean they were there ofc and it's something completely inevitable if you're a girl but yeah decent looks too.
I had eye contacts with unknown people who turned around to see me . That feeling was Outta this world , atleast for me . And I also had eye contacts with the A guy before and I found him cute too. Like in the canteen , in the corridor . He's a cute lil guy . But again he's a topper and ik he liked me or at the very least found me pretty.
And by the time I could process what was happening with me I already had a guy who had a crush on me ,or should I say guys ....because that bearded guy and some even from my batch seemed to be interested in ME ....but god knows why all of them were such idiots because they never initiated convos and yeah they were dumb .
That bearded guy ,as I've already mentioned,seemed to be quite obsessed with me and I found it creepy at some point . But yeah again ,I felt pretty . And this one time in the washroom when I let my hair down to adjust ,my friend literally said to me" bhai tu kitni pretty hai " gosh🥰stawhhhppp....and that I should let my hair down more often  so yeah  I tried one time .
I conditioned my hair and let them down  ,people were looking at me like I was super pretty and him ...omg..he was flat once he saw me . Yeah so many more things happened too. And that friend of mine said that I looked very pretty and that the curly haired boy would get a crush on you . (Check out compliments..)
This one time some group of guys were sneakily indicating at me ,bcos I looked good. I mean in a good way . Like how you do when you want you r friends to see this cute person . And God I felt pretty and special..
And yeah well that was it ....
No actually there was again a new chapter left for me
That pink chapter when I got into this batch where I met pink 🌷🌷🌸🌸💗💗
I know you like me ,admit it already .....
So well , I don't want to enter it all again . But I will do it until and unless I stop rn .
Well he just loved to check me out the first time he saw me . I could see him , checking out my thighs everytime he  had the chance. I hated it before . But now, I like it .
Gosh .... Thats twisted . I bet he doesn't even think about me anymore . Now ?
And some random stuff.
Like that one time I was out somewhere and was clicking pictures and there was a lady behind me telling me to shift to the side , not in a rude way but still. So i turned around and as soon as she saw me her expression changed . Like you do when you see someone good looking.she was almost smiling. Gosh...im so obsessed with myself.
And that one time when I liked it the most . When it was worth it. It was when I showed my new self to that obnoxious and toxic person . I could almost see him defeated . I won. He compared me to his daughter and that was worth it you guys . He just constantly put me down and now he's the one in the gutter. You deserved it .......
And yeah sometimes when my sister's friends told.her that I looked pretty . I really felt it that time . Children won't lie right?
And this one time when I was with some of my relatives,who are just super unknown to me . And yeah so this small kiddo looked at me constantly like I was super pretty . Oh my god I'm happy so so happy. But then again beauty isn't everything right . Ik
Oh yeah and one more. Like I never thought that I  could ever hear something like that from her but I did . I was always so jealous of her as she always was first but yeah I heard it ...she was talking to her friend and said," (me), acchi dikhti hai , beautiful hai. Gawwd like compliments from fella girls are always the best