"Unbroken Threads: A Woman's Journey Through Hardship and Purpose"

Meet Bao

With my relationship with Justin officially over, I mostly hung out with my cousins. We spent our time at the beach or the movies. On one rare occasion, we went to a party, and that's when my first baby daddy saw me and decided to pursue me. I had recently turned 20, and this 27-year-old instructor at my cousin's college wanted to meet me. It took him two weeks to find someone who knew me and get my information.

When Bao called, I was both flattered and afraid. Who goes through all that to get a date? I didn't know what to think. Finding out that he was also a music producer with several credits to his name, most notably one of the most popular songs on the radio at the time, I figured he was someone I needed to meet.

I imagined a tall, black, handsome, and distinguished man. Remember, I had a home phone and had never met him before. He was working in his studio and invited me over. I arrived and instantly began having flashbacks of my traumatic date with Red. I honestly don't know what I was thinking or if I was thinking at all.

The man who greeted me at the door was unexpected, to say the least. He was tall, handsome, and distinguished, but he was not black. He was Asian. His name should have been a hint. Bao's most distinctive feature was his salt-and-pepper hair, styled into cornrows—a testament to his attraction to black culture and black women. His almond-shaped eyes sparkled with intelligence or maybe arrogance. I wasn't sure yet.

Upon meeting, we spent a lot of time in his living room talking and getting to know each other. He was cool at the time. We spent time together every other day. Bao and I were hanging out one day as we usually did when he flipped and lost it on me for something stupid. Little by little, he had become increasingly possessive and controlling. So, that sparkle in his eyes that I once believed might be intelligence was arrogance.

His demeanor became extremely aggressive, and I feared the day it would become physical. I decided it was time to break things off. Perhaps I shouldn't have done it in person. At the time, I was both pissed off and over it, so I ripped off the bandaid. I told Bao that I didn't want to be with him anymore.

Bao refused to let me go. Breaking up was not something he was going to allow. I attempted to leave, and he blocked the exit, trapping me in his bedroom. After an hour of trying to leave, I sat on the edge of his bed to wait it out. By this point, I was afraid for my life. Eventually, he began to become intimate with me. Out of fear, I did not resist.

The next day, he assumed everything was back to normal, so he allowed me to go. I left with no intention of seeing him again. He called and paged me like crazy. I didn't respond until I missed my period, and the pregnancy test came back positive. I was 20 when I found out I was pregnant. I told Bao right away. The funny thing is, he wasn't at all shocked. As if he'd planned it. I didn't feel safe with him anymore, so I ghosted him for my entire pregnancy.

Our daughter, Mai, made her entrance into the world in late December, five weeks earlier than expected. Though she arrived underweight, she was healthy. My mom and sister stood by my side, providing support and encouragement as Mai entered the world. Mai's most striking feature was her exceptionally dark hair, the blackest I had ever seen. She bore a remarkable resemblance to a delicate china doll, with her tiny features and captivating presence. Her eyes possessed a graceful slant, reminiscent of Bao's.

Barely two weeks after giving birth to our daughter, Bao showed up on my doorstep uninvited. He pushed his way inside, and no matter how hard I tried to convince him that the baby was not his, he adamantly refused to believe me. He professed his love for me and vowed to change for the better. I didn't want to be a single parent, and I felt embarrassed, to be honest. 

So, I decided to give him another chance. It seemed only fair to offer him an opportunity for redemption.I genuinely believed Bao could change, but it didn't take long for him to reveal his true colors. Bao turned out to be exceptionally cruel, exhibiting verbal, emotional, and sexual abuse.

Whenever I attempted to break free from him, he'd make disturbing jokes about ending my life. I lived in fear. On the one occasion that I met Bao's mother, she advised me to run for the hills and never look back. I became determined to regain control of my life. All of the bad that was coming from Bao did the opposite of what he intended. Instead of breaking me, his words gave me the strength to leave and run straight back to Jesus.

To break free from Bao's abuse, I decided to relocate from Florida to New Jersey with my mom, who at the time was leaving her unfaithful, unreliable husband. My sister had relocated there earlier in the year, so we all moved into an apartment in East Orange together. The transition brought about significant changes, all for the better. 

Thankfully, Bao made only a few futile attempts to contact me before realizing that I would never return to him. Regrettably, in the years that followed, I would learn about the suffering he inflicted on the women who came after me.