"Unbroken Threads: A Woman's Journey Through Hardship and Purpose"

I found love

I found love in New Jersey, and Mai found her forever daddy. Mai was unofficially adopted by my son's father, Boss. He was a friend and co-worker of my brother-in-law, who we sadly lost to colon cancer. Boss was 20 years my senior, an older man with an air of mystery and intrigue. His mixed heritage gave him pale, fair skin, allowing him to easily pass for white. Standing tall and exuding undeniable charisma, Boss was a study in contrasts.

Boss's silver hair and beard enhanced his allure, giving him a timeless quality. His slight beer belly was a charming imperfection that softened his otherwise model-like appearance. Despite his casual style of t-shirts, jeans, and Timberland boots, his fashion sense was impeccable, often accessorized with gold and diamonds.

One of the most thrilling aspects of his personality was his passion for biking. Even at 41, he effortlessly matched the skills of younger bikers, performing tricks like the "Endo" and "Wheelie" with finesse.

Boss came with a baby mama and an ex-wife, with three children in total. His son, Camron, was only three years younger than me, and his two daughters from his marriage were 11 and 13 when we began dating. His marriage ended due to his wife's adultery, and his last relationship ended the same way. Because of these experiences, Boss sometimes doubted my faithfulness, especially due to our age difference. I constantly reassured him that he was my one and only.

Following the birth of our son and with Mai selecting Boss as her father, we embarked on building our family. Boss's father had the deepest complexion I had ever seen, while his mother was a fair-skinned white woman with blonde hair and blue eyes. Her genetic traits were dominant, as our son, King, inherited her fair complexion to such an extent that I was frequently mistaken for his nanny. Although King didn't have blonde hair or blue eyes, he appeared to be of Caucasian descent.

Boss taught me how to love and allow myself to be loved. We shared many moments of laughter, often going on dessert runs and playing backgammon almost every night. The one area where we differed was attending church. Ironically, this difference, which could have strengthened our bond, ended up tearing us apart.

Our breakup wasn't due to falling out of love or infidelity but because we were on different life paths. I felt a strong desire to recommit my life to Jesus and wanted to be a wife to Boss. He felt like I was using God to trap him into marriage, but he agreed to marry me if I insisted. "If I insisted!?" That statement broke my heart. I knew Boss had been hurt and deceived in his past. I did my best to prove my love and faithfulness, but he had trust issues, especially after discovering his oldest daughter wasn't his biological child. That was the final straw.

I knew he loved me, but he couldn't completely give himself to me. He had lost his faith and refused to attend church with me. Boss had multiple motorcycle accidents during our time together. Though his life was spared, his heart and mind were never the same. I nursed him back to health, but I feared for his safety and soul. I held my breath every time he went out for a ride, speeding at over 180 mph, and throwing caution to the wind. I never understood how he could be so careless with his life when he had a family at home that needed him.

I knew that if I wanted to grow as a Christian, I couldn't live with him without the sanctity of marriage. His absolute unwillingness to attend church was heartbreaking. I needed a biblical husband to lead me closer to God, and he was adamant that he was not that person. This led me to a difficult decision, and ultimately, I chose to prioritize my growth and faith in God.

Being in Jersey changed me. I was no longer afraid to speak up for myself. I was mentally stronger than when I was with Bao. Boss taught me a lot, and I loved him with all my heart, but I knew we would eventually resent each other if I stayed. We loved one another enough to let go.

Boss remained one of my closest friends. It was cool because my grandparents had stayed friends after their marriages ended, blending families and enjoying events as a village. Their love and dedication to coming together for the well-being of the kids and grandkids were inspirational. I was determined to do the same (at least with Boss, not Bao).Next stop... North Carolina!