"Unbroken Threads: A Woman's Journey Through Hardship and Purpose"

The Forbidden Garden

The drive to the restaurant was uneventful; so I took the opportunity to check in on the kids and mommy. Mommy assures me that everything is good, she's got it! Soon, as I hang up with Mommy a call comes in from hubby. I sent it to voicemail. The last thing I want at this moment is to talk to Kin. Classix and I arrive at a cute little restaurant in the East Village. Bleu Noon is a hot spot for celebrities. We are seated in the Forbidden Garden, a very exclusive area in the restaurant. (V.I.P. is what they call it!)

I gotta be honest. With Classix being a Christian artist, I didn't think that he had access to such things. Like is he in that not-so-secret, secret organization that people sell their souls to or something? Imma just to keep my eyes open cause that's a big no, for me! Anyway, as much as I am looking forward to hanging out with my boy; I'm starving! I try to play it cool but my stomach is going to start making noises soon and that's not cute at all. Fortunately, as soon as we are seated, the wait staff begins to serve us an array of vegetarian dishes. that Classix had ordered when he made the reservation. Boy, Classix planned ahead.

Unfortunately, I am not a vegetarian and don't want to be. (Veggies give me gas) There is a basket of gourmet baked goods, so I decided to dig in! As time flies by, we are talking about life and experiences we've had. That's when Classix decides to pop the question. Classix: So, how long have you been married, he asks.

I hadn't lied or anything but the guilt was already beginning to sink in. I didn't want anyone to know that I was married but, Shelly had to open her big mouth. It's not like I came to New York thinking that I was gonna try and hook up with someone, especially not Classix. We are both Christians. It's just that my marital status is complicated and I really don't want to think or talk about it. So, that's exactly what I told him, minus the not trying to hookup part.

Classix mentioned that he was actively dating but single. He was practicing celibacy and has been doing so since his marriage ended 6 years ago. He explained how difficult dating in your fifties can be. Middle-aged men have usually seen and done it all. At this point, I am in the market for both a spiritual and emotional connection with someone. Someone to do the rest of my life with.

Before I even have a chance to give my rebuttal, Classix asks me to explain why it's complicated (my marriage). Well........, I answer. (trying to come up with an answer that's as close to the truth as possible) It's complicated! You said that already, Classix responds with an endearing smile on his face. Tell me something, girl! (He says) (I take a deep breath and reply) There are so many reasons not to stay married and only one that I should. I think I want out. I mean I have said it in my head (I want out, I want out) over and over again. But, this was the first time that I spoke those words out loud and to someone else. (I hate saying it. I hate hearing myself say it even more.)

He isn't crazy, is he? Classix asks. No. We've been through so much together, you would think that would have made us closer but, most of the time I feel like he hates me. Like he feels as if I ruined his life. I guess I am tired of trying to make him see me differently. Trying to make him love me, and value me. Dang! Classix, exclaims! I changed the subject quickly.

"How about you? Why celibacy?" I ask. Classix: Before I was saved I messed around with a lot of women. I've been there and done that. I began to lose respect for myself. Once married some of those previous experiences began to affect my marriage. I was into certain types of sexual things that my bride wasn't comfortable with and shouldn't have to be. I needed to take time out to examine myself. I needed to work on myself and since I wasn't sure how long my journey would take, I decided to let her go.

Years later, she's happily married with kids living in her purpose. I am healing, happy, and living in my purpose as well. I am enthusiastic about what God has in store for me." Classix replies. May I speak freely? Classix asks. Of course, I say. What if anything does old dude do to keep you? Personally, If God blesses me with a bride, this time I am going to ride til I die to make sure that I provide all things necessary to keep my rib. Imma be sounding like Method Man on that track, singing "You're all I need to get by." I smile and reply simply with an, "I wish!"

Classix: "I would love to meet him and share my testimony. God loves us without hesitation. Even in our mess, he loves us. We are imperfect. He also allows us to make our own decisions and live with the consequences of our actions. I am going to share this with you now and prayerfully with him someday soon. These are not my words, this is biblical.

1. LOVE: As a Christian husband, it is essential to love your wife just as you love yourself, ensuring her protection from all harm (Ephesians 5:25–29). Embrace the responsibility of nurturing and cherishing her with the love of Christ, attending to her spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and physical needs with the utmost care (Ephesians 5:29; Colossians 3:19).

2. RESPECT: Respect is paramount in a Christian marriage. When Paul instructs wives to submit to their husbands in Ephesians 5:24, it does not condone abuse, neglect, or mistreatment. Instead, it emphasizes that a husband should lead with love and understanding (Ephesians 5:23). Show honor to your wife both publicly and privately, safeguarding her dignity and reputation from any slander (1 Peter 3:7).

3. SPIRITUAL LEADERSHIP: Take on the role of providing spiritual leadership to your wife. While she may be well-versed in biblical doctrine and involved in instructing your children in faith, it is your duty to diligently oversee and guide the spiritual growth of your family (Ephesians 6:4).

4. ATTENTION: Be attentive to your wife's needs and desires. Set aside ample time to be with her, delight in her company, and seek to truly understand her. This intentional effort will foster a stronger and more intimate bond between you, glorifying God in your marriage (Proverbs 5:18–19; Ephesians 5:31).

5. DEVOTION: Show unwavering devotion to your wife. Even during challenging times, prioritize sacrificially loving her, following the example of Christ who gave Himself for the church (Ephesians 5:25; see also 1 Corinthians 7:1–5). Your commitment to her well-being not only honors your wife but also reflects your devotion to the Lord.

6. ENJOYMENT: Rejoice in the gift of your wife, recognizing her as a precious blessing from God. She is meant to be your comforter, supporter, encourager, and companion (Proverbs 18:22; 31:10–12; 1 Peter 3:1). By valuing, cherishing, and nurturing her, she will radiate God's love as your cherished bride.

Me: "Amen! " and vice versa. I get it. God's words speak to my soul and my soul cries out."