Rini

road trip

Gina pov.

Im sitting shotgun and looking out the open window distracted. The girls are talking and music is blasting. I read more of the songs in the book. There were songs they wrote together in there too. 

flashback

I'm on my bed, i finished my packing, homework, and script work. now I'm sitting on my bed trying not to open the music book... i do. i open it to a random page and read, "Hand in hand we can make it,  teddy bears and necklaces. Skate boards and rain dances. We can take the world, easy from near, easy from afar. My love, my life, my home, happiness is when I'm with you. Happiness is your curls, happiness is your smile, happiness is you baby, happiness is you." its obviously written by both of them. the fact they had problems last year with writing beauty and the beast is surprising. 

I read another one that's just written by Ricky, "You're lovely if you could see what we see, You'd know you're like a movie, The ones that make-believe, 'Cause you're lovely, I know you don't believe me, Just hear the words I'm singing, In this song I wrote for you, You're lovely, If you could see what we see, You'd know you're like a movie, The ones that make-believe, 'Cause you're lovely, And I know you don't believe me,Just hear the words I'm singing, In this song I wrote for you." a movie, wow, they really are cliche. i laugh, wow, wow, he said i am a movie.. i stop laughing. But the difference between a movie and in real life, is i.. we are real. they were real. i start flipping toward the back. I found the song he wrote for me. I smile and run my fingers over the page. I turn another page, "I remember i remember every word. don't give up on us. I remember i remember, the room, i remember i remember chocolate and movies, and kissing, jealousy, and love, i remember i remember." it stops there.

I turn a couple pages, I land on a page, title says deja vu, (an, no its not olivias song, its different) "Over and over again, i get a sense of deja vu, every kiss in the rain, every love is say, every dance we do, i remebr you, is it wrong, yes, is it terrible yes, but i tried letting you go, i don't know if it worked, i cant do anything when I've already done it with you. we learned we grew we did everything. yet we feel apart. deja vu from every fight, deja vu from every lie, deja vu from dancing and kissing in the rain. deja vu. i love you. Your body your lips, you in my clothes, my head on your chest, hands in my hair, i love her too, its different, but its still deja vu, not a doppelganger of you, similar, but so different. I love her i hope i chose her, shes lovely and beautiful and kind, i wont leave her, not out of obligation i love her, but nothings new nothing different everything reminds me of you. deja vu deja vu" i stopped reading, i was crying. does he love her, does he... he's not staying with me out of obligation but it sure as fuck feels like that. 

end of flashback

I am snapped out of my flashback by kourt, she driving, "GINA" i snap to attention, "Ya." i say dazed, she shakes her head, "Girl I've been calling you for like a full minute, u hungry? there's a Culvers." i nod, "ya, ya" i smile, "your zony today." she comments, Ash and Madox, are talking quietly, and look up, addie, Kenidee, and seb are looking at me weird. Steph and Lauryn are on their phones. I look at them. i frown slightly, i turn back around, "i didn't sleep last night, too excited." in reality i was up reading the journal and crying. I debated not coming, but i don't know. I'm here, in this car, driving to see my boyfriends ex, and my friend. i don't think she knows about some of the songs..at least not any of the songs after they broke up but..I cant help but blame her too. maybe its because she is his muse. maybe its because he just loves her. i don't know...