Hollowness

Chapter 36

Zayn's POV,

My head was throbbing and my throat felt dry.  I tried to open my eyes but felt my eyelids heavy. I tried to speak but my voice was not able to come out. Someone caressed my hair and lifted my head a bit upwards. I could feel moisture on my lips. I tasted water on my tongue. I gulped hard. I started drinking water to quench my thirst. After a few gulps of water I could regain some strength. Someone made me lie down again. I again tried to open my eyes. Initially it was blurry then I saw white ceiling above my head. Relief washed over me thinking I am not at home but somewhere else. I looked around to see a hospital room. I was in a hospital bed. John was sitting beside me holding a glass of water. He smiled at me. He was teary eyed.  Realization dawned on me looking at him. Mel was sitting on the other side of the bed.  I am not dead. I am very much alive. I can't even die peacefully. All anger, fear washed away from my heart leaving me with hollowness. I felt numb. Helpless. 

I again closed my eyes to temporarily block myself from the outside world. John called out to Mel. 

" Mam sir was awake for a brief moment. I think he will soon regain consciousness. " John told her happily. 

" What!! Really john!! ohh god I am glad he is safe. I thought I would not even get a chance to apologize to him. " Mel answered, leaving me surprised. 

" I must thank god. He is safe. I never knew I had pushed him so far. " Mel said. Her voice showed regret but I could not trust her. I decided to sleep again and blocked out their conversation. 

When I woke up again then only John was sitting next to me. Mel was not in the room.  John saw confusion on my face. 

" Sir, I am glad we could save you. You had us worried for some time. We really thought we lost you. Mel madam was going crazy looking at your state. She begged doctors to save you. She never left your side. " John said. 

"--------" I kept silent. 

"Sir, let me call the doctor to have you checked." John left the room. 

Doctor and Nurse came into my room. They examined me. He advised me to stay in the hospital as I had lost a good amount of blood and my wound on my wrist needs to heal. Doctor referred me to a therapist to deal with my depression.  I don't think it will really help me as I can't disclose about abuse that occurs with me at home. 

Best option for me is to die. If I am not able to die then I should minimize the damage and try to stay out of trouble to avoid Mel's wrath. My all hopes to escape her clutches have died. 

Days passed by and I was getting better physically. My psychological counselling was also continued. They never pressured me about my reason of sucide attempt but I think looking at wounds and marks on my body they understood. I was relieved that Mel had not visited me after seeing her in the hospital. I never asked John about her but John said that she wants to give me some space and time to heal. He said she genuinely regret hurting me. I could not believe him but still did not question him. 

I got discharged from the hospital. I was straight sent home. My therapy continued even at home. I was recovering. I started to resist my nightmares. I could see Mel's photo without having a panic attack. 

Mel did not return home as well. She kept her distance with me.  John was always with me to cater to my needs. Money was never an issue as Mel had given a credit card in my name and it was with John. All of my expenses were paid by her. 

It's been more than 2 months since my hospitalization but there was no sign of Mel. I started to wonder if she really regretted abusing me and planning to leave me. John told me that she calls him daily and gets my updates from him. I can not forget that she has CCTV cameras installed at home even though she is not here she can still watch me. I had started accepting my fate. I was preparing myself for her to come and start abusing me again. 

One day when I was sitting in the hall with John. We were watching a programme.  Someone entered the room. It was Mel. I was shocked to see her and started fidgeting. She was in front of me in the flesh. I was practicing to avoid nightmares after looking at her photo but now she is standing in front of me. I tried to avoid flashes of her abuse. 

She slowly neared me and sat on the sofa. She maintained her distance. 

" How are you?" She asked softly. 

" I am fine" I answered her as I didn't want to anger her. 

" I need to tell you something. " She said softly again. I looked at her. 

" I am sorry for hurting you. When I knew I could lose you forever I realised your worth. I am really sorry. " Mel apologized to me. I could not pinpoint if she was actually sorry. I desperately wanted to believe her as it will stop my torment but my luck is never on my side. So I held my breath and listened to her further. 

" Zayn, I really want you to give me one chance to redeem myself. I want to start over together. ... Zayn,... I want to start a family with you... Zayn, I am pregnant with your baby.  I think our baby will help us to bond together, I want to raise our baby together with you. " Mel said pleadingly. 

Author's Note: 

Hello readers! Sorry for the delay, My work was keeping me busy, If you are reading this then thanks for being with me,