•Give• Jeongin Centric

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A/n: sorry this chapter took me so long to update but since it's of a normal-ish format I hope you can understand that I tried to make this as cohesive to the story as possible, that's all, enjoy! :)

Update: this took me even longer to upload because I fell ill so I'm sorry about that 😓

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As I search for my journal, the one that holds all parts of who I am, the bell rings.

"Ah! Finally it's lunchtime! Innie are gonna join us today or would you rather us go to the library with you?" Hyunjin turns to me and questions with his signature smile that somehow always meets his eyes. He had rushed to my class that was next door to his excitedly so he could walk with me to the lunch room. 

I look up from my bag and make a show of putting on a thoughtful face, which I get a chuckle in response to, and decide to answer with the truth, "well I was going go to the library to grab some books and then head over with you guys if that's ok?"

Hyunjin nods understandingly, "of course that's fine innie, I'll make sure to tell Chan so we can grab a lunch for you, I know that today you forgot to pack one." He smiles once more and turns to make his way out of our shared math class.

My face pales.

I start get lightheaded,
or maybe that's just the regular lightheadedness?

Slowly an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach rises knowing that I'm not going to be able to avoid it today. I'm going to have to act the part today.

Because of course nothing is wrong.
Nothing is ever wrong.

I am okay, I'll just have to find a way to make up for it... I guess.

With that, I finish packing my bag with notebooks and leave into the hall knowing that the worst is about to happen and I have no idea how to stop it.

The hallways feel like they're not big enough to hold me, I'm growing in size already and nothing has even happened. The twists and turns are like an added agony to my brain I never asked for but continue to withstand simply because it's in a familiar institution, and because maybe it'll help me out of the hellhole that is my life.

Somehow in my cacophony of thoughts I find myself going down the stairs in order to reach the library, hoping I'm able to find the books that I need for physics class.

Lord knows I need all the extra help i can get because, of course, I wasn't born with any particular intelligence.

Eventually, Im met with the entrance to the said information center and search for what feels like hours, but was realistically probably only a few minutes, until I finally find the book I need at the back of the library. How convenient. I try my best to disregard the placement of the physics section, and make my way to the front of the library and check out, already knowing that I've spent too much time searching through the never ending piles of books for my liking.

As I'm checking out though, a title catches my eye, it's a book Jisung has told me he's been struggling to find. So in good nature, I take the book off the shelf and check out the book for him myself in order to lessen his struggle. Almost instantaneously it's like through that one small action I have finally found a sense of equilibrium within my mind, its quiet. As if nothing was wrong to begin with, I turn to the exit in order to finally meet my friends for lunch just like they wanted.