•Give• Jeongin Centric

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It's been a few days.

Now it's officially Tuesday.

Tomorrow is the big day, I'm going back to school.

As much as I've loved being home, I miss being seen as normal.

Surprisingly mother has been ok.

She doesn't tell me off anymore which is good.

Now she just acts as if I don't exist.

I think that's better for the both of us.

We both have our faults.

So long as we continue on our paths, there will be no reason for us to converge.

Unless, she truly wants that.

Then again, I've spent most of the last few years of my life wishing she still cared, so I don't think it's possible anymore.

And I'm okay with that.

I've liked staying home all this time don't get me wrong, but some things need to change.

I'm at peace with myself again and I crave to be outside once more to share it.

School is the perfect opportunity for this.

I may or may not complain about it the first chance I get, but that's something future me will have to deal with.

School has always been my place to go, it's where things start.

This time I want it to be where things are ending.

I deserve my closure to be in the place it all started.

If anything I'm ready for it.

I may not know what will happen tomorrow or the next day, or the next, but I hope it's good.

I can't predict anything, therapy so far has taught me that life doesn't work like that.

Things happen as they happen for a reason, I may not see it now but I will soon enough.

The future isn't here yet so it's something I've been trying not to worry about.

But it gets hard sometimes.

The future is inevitable after all.

I just hope I make the right decisions for it to turn out good.

Even if things don't turn out good I just want my normal back.

I just hope that my normal isn't judged tomorrow.

I don't want to be treated any differently than before.

It'll make me feel like there's something wrong with me again.

Pity has never been my favorite feeling.

However there's no telling who is aware of what happened and who isn't.

I'm praying that only a few people know.

If I got everything I wished then nobody would know.

But again, life doesn't work like that.

So as of right now the best I can wish for is only a few pitying looks.

I know that my absence left suspicions around the student body.

The group has told me as much.

I found it funny how ridiculous the accusations got.

Someone went as far as to say I was a spy on a secret mission.

But as much as some could be funny, it still left me worried.

I don't want to fret about my circumstances anymore though, that's not me.

The jeongin of the past is no longer me.

That's no longer the person I want to be.

No longer the person I wish to be.

I am just jeongin.

A boy who just wants a better future for himself.

A boy who wants the people around him to know that he's capable of creating that future.

I'm learning to let go.

With that comes the responsibility of not letting my past dictate my now.

Or even my future.

So long as I can continue with giving I'll be okay.

Because this time I know that's not all people see me for, and I'm eternally grateful for it.

I think I'm starting to like this new me.

Let's hope everyone else does too.

:)

A/n: I know I know I'm late I'm sorry 😞 I have no excuse this time I just forgot to write it lmao
But hey at least I got it done!
Anywho, I just wanted to thank everyone for over 4K reads now, I still can't fathom the fact that people are really reading and enjoying my book, so thank you truly.
You guys are so so sweet and I can't wait to continue writing <3 take care of yourselves, be safe and I'll see you fairies next chapter!