•Give• Jeongin Centric

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I had a dream last night.

Well...

It ended up being more of a nightmare.

That's how it usually ends when I dream about him.

About my brother.

I miss him...

But my brain is telling me he doesn't feel the same.

I don't think he ever felt the same way.

Especially not with the way he contorted into something inhuman.

Something that I haven't stopped dreaming about since he died...

"WHY ARE YOU EVEN STILL ALIVE JEONGIN?! CANT YOU TELL NO ONE LOVES YOU ANYMORE?!?"

Why did his words sting so much more?

All I ever wanted was for him to see me as something.

Anything...

But now he can't see me at all.

And it's all my fault.

Everyone tells me I couldn't have known

But what if I hadn't told him to go and get snacks?

What I had just been there?

Would things have changed?

Deep down....

I know why I ask that question..

Sure, I miss him more and more as the seasons change.

But truly...

I wish it was me that got hit by that car that day.

Maybe I wouldn't be such a waste of space now.

He was always the better one out of the two of us...

"Psst."

I look up to be met with Hyunjins confused eyes.

I muster up the only response I could.

My throat still hurts from 'lunch.'

"hm"