•Give• Jeongin Centric

Page ①⑥

So far everything has been going better.

Compared to yesterday that is.

It's gotten pretty awkward for me with my hyungs.

Especially when they see me writing.

Their eyes somehow always find themselves on my journal.

But I have to keep pretending I don't know.

It's for the best.

Though I can't stop myself from asking,

Do they think there is something wrong with me?

Are they only here out of pity?

Or do they really enjoy my company?

My thoughts can't seem to get quiet today.

Especially the ones about the snack I ate this morning.

I thought it was a good idea at the time.

But now I just feel nauseous.

It's not mixing well with my stomach.

What am I going to do?

What if the teacher doesn't let me leave?

I knew I shouldn't have eaten it, I probably look like an even fatter pig today.

Why couldn't I just let myself starve?

I'm so pathetic.

What if I gain weight?

I did good yesterday for throwing up twice without eating.

That's a record for me.

And now I screwed it all up.

There was a poke at my ribs from Felix next to me.

"Hey, you going to lunch? The bell just rang?"

He asked me innocently.

I still don't understand how he can be so damn perfect.

Even when he unintentionally set off the panic.

His words were the trigger.

I needed to find a bathroom immediately.

"Um I'm just gonna go and head to the library today you know... do some last minute revisions."

He eyeed me worriedly for a second, before deciding that whatever is on his mind isn't worth it.