•Give• Jeongin Centric

Page ①④

It's been almost two weeks.

An entire two weeks since I last responded to everyone's texts.

Since the last time I even went to school.

So today I decided that I would return.

I'll just say I was too sick to do anything.

It wouldn't have been a complete lie.

I was sick.

It just wasn't the usual kind of sickness.

I felt so sick myself that I couldn't help but feel as though I didn't deserve to see my friends,

to let them see me.

I spent the week locked away in my room avoiding everyone and everything around me.

I was only focused on the storm that clouded my thoughts.

The thoughts that had me inflicting my increasing self hatred onto my skin.

I hadn't bothered to clean my skin.

there was no one to clean it for.

No one ever saw me.

And in some twisted way, knowing that no one saw gave me enough reason to continue.

Though, the self hatred didn't stop me from preparing a little gift.

I think of it as an apology for my absence.

Even if they more than likely didn't notice the emptiness of my seats.

They just might care.

It hurts a little less when I convince myself that I'm not a complete burden.

I think they may have tried to visit once or twice.

But I'm not too sure.

I couldn't even say it was really them.

They stopped coming after realizing no one was going to open the door for them.

I sighed.

It was for the best.

They'll get to see me now.

And I won't look like I did this past week.

I won't look, as my mom says,

"Depressed."

She knows I'm not depressed.