•Give• Jeongin Centric

Page ②⓪

Today looks gloomy, rainy.

It's been two and a half weeks since I was first admitted.

I hate to say it but I think there was something wrong.

My habits weren't exactly helpful.

I just wanted a break.

A break from what exactly?

Many things.

But my mind mostly.

I've realized through all the therapy sessions that sometimes things just need to be let out.

I just took the wrong approach.

It seemed right at the time.

It still kind of does...

Especially since my nightmares haven't let up.

I still have my brothers voice etched in my brain like some sort of tattoo.

No one will ever love you.

You should've died that day.

You're nothing but a mistake.

You're worthless.

But they said that I get to go home.

I have to be monitored though.

In all honesty this makes me feel like a kid.

One who doesn't know any better.

But I did.

I still like to think I do.

So now, as I write everyone is packing a bag for a "sleepover."

In reality I know they just don't trust me yet.

Ha.

Trust is a funny thing isn't it?

They don't trust me and yet they were the ones who did this to me.

If they hadn't snooped maybe things would be different.

And maybe I would still trust them.

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Home.

It's almost unfamiliar.

It's never really felt like home has it?