Where did we go wrong?

Part 23

"Magnus, it's Alexander." Alec said as soon as Magnus answered the call.

"Alec, what can I do for you?"

And Alec went silent. Actually, what did he want Magnus to do for him? Listen to his apology? Tell him, his side of the story, after all those years? Meet up and clear the misunderstanding between them? Then what? Also, from how Alec has been to Magnus for all those years, can he really expect Magnus to really go along with his plans?

"Alec?" Magnus's voice came through after a few minutes.

"Are you still there?"

"Yeah, sorry. I got distracted for a second."

"And I am expected to wait around till you are done getting distracted." Magnus sounded angry.

"I am sorry. Of course, that is not why I called you."

"And why did you call me then? And stop saying we need to talk."

Alec went silent again. What exactly is he supposed to tell?

"Can you meet me up for a drink?" Alec finally asked.

"Of course, you can choose the place, and I am happy to take whatever time you give me. Just, please meet me for a drink. For our old friendships sake."

Magnus's bitter laughter came through the phone.

"You want me to do something for friendships sake when it benefits you. Why am I not even surprised." Magnus sighed.

"Magnus, I am sorry."

"Forget your apologise Alec. Those mean nothing to me, but I think in order to keep things civilised between us for our familys sake, we should meet up and have a chat."

"Thank you, Magnus." Alec felt as such a huge burden lifted from his chest.

"Meet me at the Boudourad on Friday at 6.00 p.m. I will leave if you are later than five minutes."

"Of course, I will see you on Friday. Thank you so much, Magnus." Alec thanked from the bottom of his heart. Instead of responding, Magnus hung up on him. Any other time, Alec would have been irritated, but this time, Alec was just glad that Magnus gave him some time out of his busy schedule. Alec leaned head against the head rest on his chair and sighed as he looked up.

"Now what?" Alec asked himself as he imagined how the meeting on Friday would go.

The best possible outcome would be that they discuss everything and get rid of any misunderstanding they have among them, which potentially would decide if what Facey told him was true or not. This could lead to Alec's decision about James.

If Facey was wrong, of course, Alec would go ahead with the marriage and get married to the man he has been with for close to a decade. Technically, he has been in a relationship with James longer than he has ever had with Magnus. Alec was not really sure whether if he ever really fell in love with James, but after all those years together, after going through so many, there were fond emotions. Early into the relationship, Alec wondered if what he felt was actually love or that he was only with James because of the pressure of the society. They started as friends, and they had so many common interests. They have common friends; they have met each others families. They have celebrated New years, Christmases, birthdays, 4 of Julys, and year after year.

They had this comfortable lifestyle among them that is just unique to them, but did Alec ever feel sparks with James as he felt with Magnus? No. Never. Not even for a second. He was fond of James, and he thought if he would never get what he had with Magnus, he would happily settle down with what he had with James. He also argued with himself that what he felt Magnus was nothing but something he completely made up in his head. Alec was in love with an image he made up in his head. He assumed he was in love with this perfect partner he made in his head, and he was in love with his own imagination, except the lover in his imagination always has been Magnus, not James. Even after the alleged cheating, it has always been Magnus, and Alec used to hate this. Alec felt sick to his pit, and there was time he would go and do archery till his fingertips started bleeding. He wanted the pain in his fingertips to take over the untamed heart and the heartaches, but of course, it never worked like that. Alec, five years after the break-up with Magnus, finally decided to seek professional help as he knew he was extremely depressed, and he felt he was falling deeper and deeper into the depression. He attended therapy sessions for few months but because he didnt really meet the right therapist, he decided to give up on that and instead he started hurting Magnus with cruel words and actions and try to use that to satisfy his bleeding heart, but he knew he was only digging his wound by doing that.

And what if Facey was right? What if James and Facey really did break up him and Magus just so James would have a chance with Alec? What, then? Break the engagement? Break James's heart? Could he be with someone who lied to him? No, never! Yes, Alec would break up the engagement without a second thought, even if it meant he would be alone for the rest of his life. Then what? Where would Magnus fit in? Could he expect Magnus to take him back? After all he has done? His wishful heart would want that, but Alec always has been the rational one. He would not get a second chance with Magnus. Alec ruined it for himself, all those years ago. Magnus was probably already in a relationship with his secretary Imasu. Alec saw how Imasu was looking at Magnus throughout the whole afternoon. That is exactly how he used to look at Magnus. Magnus seemed really close to Imasu as well. Could he blame Magnus for wanting to be with Imasu? No, he could not. Imasu is a very handsome guy, and he and Magnus would look great together. Magnus has been single for years and years, and he knew Alec was one of the reasons for that. While he played house with James, he ruined it Magnus. From one of the conversations he heard between Izzy and Clary, Alec got to know that Magnus had trouble in trusting any potential love interests. After all, both Magnuss ex's Camille and Alec really fucked it up for Magnus.

Alec sighed as he remembered where everything went wrong.

------------------------

-8 years ago -

With Magnus's exams on June, Magnus could not come to New York till beginning of July, but it was perfect as Alec had more time to plan what they could do over the summer vacation, and they would be able to spend Alec's birthday together before Magnus had to go back. Alec had a list of things he wanted to try with Magnus and that list included, a trip to Miami, some Broadway shows, showing Magnus all the great places Alec discovered over the two years in university and also introducing Magnus to his university friends. Alec was so looking forward to seeing how well magnus would get along with his friends.

"You are fidgeting." James smiled as he commented on Alec's body language. They were sitting in front of one of large notification boards and Alec could help but tap his feet on the floor continuously. He did not even know that he was doing that till James pointed it out. He was glad to have his friend by his side because if not, he would have lost his mind by now while waiting for Magnus to come out of the airport.

"I am excited, and I cannot wait. I dont think I have ever this impatient." Alec said as he looked at the arrival board on the airport again. It has been 30 minutes since the flight from London arrived and of course Magnus had to collect the bags, but Alec was getting impatient by second.

"Don't be. It won't be long now." James put his hand on Alec's hand that was resting on his thigh. Alec looked down on James's palm on top of his hand and looked at James.

"Thank you for being here, despite what you are doing through. This really means a lot." Alec thanked from bottom of his heart. James went through bit of a messy breakup with the fella he was seeing. From what Alec knew, they were not seeing each other for long and Alec had no idea James was seeing anyone and James did not want to talk about it but as a friend Alec was always by his side whenever James needed that extra emotional help. Alec could not even imagine how hurtful that breakup must be for James. He didn't even want to this how devastated he would be if Magnus and him break up.

"Alexander!" Magnus's voice from far made him get on his feet as if he was on auto piolet mode.

"MAGNUS!" Alec ran to where the voice came from, and it didnt take him long to find Magnus.

"Oh my god!" Alec hugged Magnus so tightly. He felt as if he would not be able to breath if he could not feel Magnuss body against him as soon as possible.

"Hey." Magnus's chuckle only made Alec hug him little bit tighter.

"Hey." Alec shyly said as he laid his face on Magnus's shoulder.

"I missed you so much. I missed you so much princess." Alec tightened his grip around Magnus's waist.

"I missed you too Alexander. God, I feel like I can finally breath."

"So do I." Alec shyly agreed. He didn't know why he felt shy, but he couldn't care less.

Alec pulled back and cupped Magnus's face with his palms before he leaned in and kissed Magnus deeply.

'Please, don't leave me again!' Alec wished as he deepened the kiss.