"Tell me, Magnus, where did we go wrong?"
"I don't know, Alexander." Magnus's words were too painful for Alec.
"Can we make this right, Magnus?" Alec asked again from his ex-partner. Alec could not bear the thought of losing his soulmate, his love...
Alec swirl the last bit of his whisky as he observed the brown colour liquid turn round and round in the small whisky glass. It looked oddly satisfying and kind of settled his nervous heart. After Magnus agreed to meet him on Friday, Alec couldn't sleep properly at all. Every night, he woke up gasping for air in the middle of the night, and then he couldn't go back to sleep properly till sunrise. So he changed his routine and got up early, went to the gym first thing in the morning, and went to work right after that. He tried to stay late at work as much as possible and he went as far as not to go home whenever possible and spend the night at a hotel nearby.
James was worried about him, but Alec couldn't bring himself to look at James without feeling like a faliure. For the first time in their relationship, Alec hid the truth from James. He spent less and less time with James throughout the week, and he compensated James by giving James his unlimited credit card so he could spend money on whatever he wanted. Alec knew he was taking the easy way out, but his mind was preoccupied by Magnus for him to actually have no time or intention to think about James.
Alec sighed before he gulped down the last sip. The beautiful burn in his throat was exactly what was needed before the conversation with Magnus. Since he got up on Friday morning, he had been a nervous bundle. He couldn't focus at work. He couldn't bring himself to eat anything, and even if he did, he felt as throwing uptraightaway. When he couldn't take it any longer, he left work early and spent good hour and half getting ready. He had a cold shower to make himself more awake and changed from his work suit to a brown, slightly oversized jumper and a black trouser. Acceesoried his outfit with a simple black belt and a silver watch.
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He decided to ditch his normal hairstyle for 10 years and just ran his hand through his hair. The hairstyle he didn't use for years because he couldn't bring himself to look at himself with that hairstyle as Magnus used to love that hairstyle on him.
Even after all that getting ready, it was still only 5 p.m. He knew he couldn't wait till 6, so he decided to get to the 'Boudourad', the whisky bar Magnus mentioned as quickly as possible. He rather waited for Magnus at the bar than waiting in his hotel room till it was time for him to leave the room.
Alec looked at his watch once he finished his drink, and it was 15 minutes past 6 p.m. He gulped the painful feeling in his throat as he tried his best to imagine, Magnus was only late because of the crazy traffic in New York and not because Magnus wasn't going to show up. Alec looked at his phone to see if he had any messages from Magnus, but there was nothing. Alec sighed and looked up to ask the bartender for one more whisky glass, and he caught his reflection on the large glass behind the bar. He looked nervous and slightly hopeful. His dark eyes from all the sleepless nights weren't as visible as he thought it would. For once, he looked like his youngerself from 10 years ago with his hair style and his giddiness. Anyone else would have thought he was nervous about a date .
