Fallen (Undergoing editing)

Chapter nineteen:

My cell was dark and cold, leaving me to be torn apart by my worry and the racing dooming thoughts that bounded around in my mind.

 Guilty.

This hole that I was sunken into was beginning to turn into a canyon, a little hill now a mountain. I only had a few hours of sleep before I would be brought to my final punishment. With death off the table, the variety was now somewhat civil.

I could be banished.

Sentenced to hard labor.

A lifetime in jail.

Removed from the Guardianship.

The choices were endless and I would be facing only one tomorrow.

 "...I'm her defense—move!"

I jumped up from my bed and looked to the bars where Enrique appeared, breathing hard with a muttering guard, eyeing him carefully behind him.

"Lilith, god Lilith..."

I sighed as I got to my feet and wobbled tiredly over to the bars.

  "I'm so sorry, Lilith, I really thought—"

"Its fine," I said.

 "No," he shook his head, blinking rapidly. "We'll try again; I'm not going to let you go down for this one. I'll talk to a friend of mine; I could probably get us a retrial—"

"Enrique..."

 "I'll get you out of this, I'll talk to Nicoli or something, he'll listen—"

 "Enrique!"

He blinked and looked to me, swallowing hard, his eyes quivering.

"Its done. You can't do anything for me. Nobody can." I dropped my hands and crossed them over my chest so he couldn't see how shaky they were.

 Enrique leaned his forehead against the bars. I could see the dark bags underneath his eyes and how askew his tie was against his wrinkled suit. He was a mess and it was all because of worrying over me. I watched how he just slumped there as if he'd just fallen asleep. He'd taken on too much baggage.

 He'd taken on me.

And he didn't deserve it.

"Enrique."

He cracked open one golden eye and gazed longingly at me. "Hmm?"

"You probably should go."

Tiredly he shook his head, his nose bending against the bars. "Why?"

 "Its over, Enrique," I breathed steadily through my nose. "We're done. After tomorrow, you'll have no reason to stick around."

He jerked upright looking oddly at me. "Lilith?"

"Please, just look at yourself, you're a mess and its because of me." I wrung my hands together, dirty bruised and cut. I still hadn't completely healed from the ass-kicking that got me in this whole mess. I felt false in his eyes as he watched me. "Remember when you said that I didn't have to prove myself to anyone, that maybe I didn't want revenege for Falcon?"

Enrique watched me with his dopey innocent expression.

"Well, maybe I wasn't fighting for him. This is on me. I knew better I knew Falcon wouldn't have wanted that." Something skittered in the corner of my cell. I ignored it. It was probably a rat. "I think I deserve this."

 "Lilith...why are you saying these things? I'm not giving up on your no matter how much you push me away." He gripped the bars tightly pressing his face against them. "I will get you out of this if I have to sell my soul."

I grimaced. "Don't...don't say that!" I said looking to the guard that stood against the wall behind Enrique. He didn't seem to be eavesdropping or even listening. More focused with taunting the other prisoners. 

"What good would that do?" I kicked my foot against the ground. "Your kind, gentle and everything that true leader is, Enrique, but you can't....as soon as whatever happens to me, you'll have to move on, protect the guardianship. I'll be fine, just please." I looked again over to the guard. He was watching us. "Please, just go."

 "Lilith—"

 "This isn't up for debate, just go!"

He blinked and just stared at me hopelessly with round eyes that seemed to hug me with sorrow and guilt.

 "Time to go fella," the guard grunted from behind. Enrique's eyes fell as he turned away from the cell, looking as though I'd slapped him. It almost hurt to watch as he walked away, hurt and defeated, but he'd finally disappeared down the hall and left me along with the mildew and darkness. My teeth chattered as I curled down against the bed and wrapped my arms around myself, curling my wings around my body, trying to escape from the chilly air.

  As I lay there, trying to fall into the safety of my unconscious mind, my wings wrapped densely around my body and my teeth chattering loudly from the cold, the day kept returning to my brain and poked me awake with its disappointing results. Just thinking about what was to unfold tomorrow felt like tying an anchor to my ankle and throwing myself into the ocean. I just hoped I drowned quickly.