King/Harlequin x Helbram one shot

Perfection

Perfection, no one ever believe in it, yet everyone want you to be perfect.

So, what am I going to lose if I try ?

TW: SH (self-harm), low self-esteem, bad talking, trauma ? anger issue ?

Also btw there is also FemHelbram, in here Helbram is shorter

"Dear, why aren't you eating more ? If you continue like that you'll end up in the hospital..." My mother said worried, it was always the same all the time.

"Yes mom..." I respond annoyed, why does every time I eat until I'm fool I always get a critique ? 'You should eat more then that !' 'Why are you eating so low ?' 'Are you really going to eat all of that ?' Can't they just leave me alone for god sake ?! I can eat as much as I want god dammit !

I sigh and quit the table not wanting to hear any more words for them, I went straight to my room hearing my big sister saying a 'good night !' while everyone was laughing. Okay I get it I spend most of my day in my room but do you really have to make me feel bad about it ? Does she think it's funny to push everyone that is trying to help you away like that ? For god sake... Sometime I wish they would try to understand me...just one fucking time...

I open my PC and start to watch some YouTube video while doing my homework, the sound of the people help me felt a bit less lonely. It was nice honestly. I didn't really like being alone but I didn't like socializing too. I rather stay with the people I know then with new people, I don't know new people just make me anxious. I continue to do my homework and see that I also have a math homework to do. I start to panic inside honestly. I suck at math.

And the only one that help me with it is my father but he is mad at me for some reason I still don't get why...I mean we did have a fight but it's not a reason to ignore me or be cold to me every time I want to talk to him...it's not far that if it would be the opposite I would have already been yelled out...

I took a deep breath and began to concentrate to be able to do it on my own. Sometime I would help myself over the internet either way I would try to use my brain, even if I didn't understand some thing I was still trying my best. I look at the time and see that it was already night, I had finally finish my homework, thanks god the homework is for tomorrow.

I don't really like doing my homework too much in advance because after I don't remember if I done it or not. So I'm glad that I was able to finish. I put my homework in my math notebook and went to sleep, I was very exhausted but I wasn't able to sleep for some reason, I just couldn't. I took my phone and went to look at random thing online, I wasn't suppose to have social media because my parents didn't wanted me to, it was like betraying them honestly but at a moment I just wanted to be able to talk to my friend and just break free.  

I was still looking around just watching some video while trying to sleep but I just couldn't, when I finally fall asleep I wake up not that long ago, I look at the time and see that it was 3:48AM. I sigh knowing I hadn't sleep for long and that falling back asleep would literally be impossible. I decide to look in my school website to see if there was any assignment soon, I see that we would probably have an assignment next week and it was a Spanish one.

I wasn't very good at Spanish too but I had to start being good at something right ? I mean ever since I start being in middle school my grades were still great but I barely understand anything while it primary everything was just so easy and I had time for myself too...

The good old time I guess, but those time are over and they will only be memory...

God I hate life sometime...

I took my Spanish notebook and I I started to revise for the assignment. I was starting to be very tired but no matter what I tried I just couldn't go back to sleep. And so that's how I end up revising the whole night instead of sleeping...again...