🐻32ND TRIAL🐰

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🐻TAESHA'S POV💚

We've been busy for many days filming my music videos. Jokoy and I regularly call each other every day before we go to sleep and when we wake up. The time zone was never an issue for us. We always adjust for each other to be able to keep our communication open. That is one of the lessons we have learned from all the trials and misunderstandings we had about communication. And if there is an instance where we cannot contact each other, we choose to be patient and trust each other.

We have learned from the past that love is not the only ingredient that makes a relationship work. Love, trust, honesty, communication, and compassion should always be together for a successful relationship. Always be committed. Always be responsible.

And we were lacking those before we got married. I laughed silently at those thoughts. Cheating was not the only reason we separated multiple times before. It was more about immaturity. Immaturity causes possessiveness and selfishness. Admit that to yourself.

Before Jokoy cheated, he was confused about his wants. Not that he questions himself about whether he is a man or not. He asks himself if he really can love only me without liking others.

We struggled a lot. Pressure was put on our shoulders and tested our love and trust for each other. We separated because of our immaturity in handling problems. We both lacked time and patience with each other and broke up in simple fights.

It was 2018 when Jokoy first cheated on me because of his friend's cousin. Followed by he was almost fell to the artist in 2019. Then, after a month, Peakboy Hyung's friend saw him at the bar with my best friend, flirting with a girl.

Those ladies have no idea about the Jokoy and I relationship. Except one. The artist. Why? Because she is special. Because Jokoy told her about our relationship. Because Jokoy and I talked to her, and she said sorry to me. Yes. The three of us talked, and she stepped back away from both of us while all of us were crying.

The same day the photos went viral was also the day of our travel to New Zealand to shoot the bon voyage. That is why the artist released a statement saying that she is not dating Jokoy, because it was clear to her who really is in a relationship with Jokoy. It is me.

Jokoy was trying to go near me, but he knows that if I don't want to be with him, he cannot force me, and I was not in the mood that day

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Jokoy was trying to go near me, but he knows that if I don't want to be with him, he cannot force me, and I was not in the mood that day. He was sleepy when we left Seoul because of his lack of sleep due to his endless crying. He looked so haggard and pitiful with his look during our bon voyage shoot.

I avoided talking to him except on cam. I miss him. But I was hurt because I was thinking. I am not enough. I will never be enough because women have things I will never have. Because, at the end of the day, I am still a man.

That project became my escape from pain but also a nightmare because I needed to interact with Jokoy despite my desire to avoid him for a while while I was thinking. There were times when I wanted to be alone and the members kept on checking on me.

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