💍💚MARRIAGE AND THE MISUNDERSTANDINGS💜💍

🐻33RD TRIAL🐰

🐰JOKOY'S POV💜

Taesha's music video filming will end soon, and he is coming back home. I booked a villa at the Paradise Hotel for both of us so Taesha could relax after his work. He will have a fan meeting the day after tomorrow. I already ordered a cake, flowers, and gifts for him. I really miss my husband.

What we are now. What our relationship has become. How our love is stronger did not just happen overnight. It took many years for us to mature and be responsible.

It took many trials to test how long we would be holding and how far we would go. Our love was tested a number of times, not just by third parties.

We struggled the most when everyone began to separate us. That was the time I questioned myself about whether I could stand for Taesha, if I could protect him. If we can make it, what if we ruin each other? What if we broke each other in the process? What if we both lost everything? I didn't know back then that I was already doing what I was afraid of.

But as the day went by, little by little, we realized that no one mattered to us except each other. We realized that we don't need validation from anyone, as long as we have each other. We don't need to do it alone; we must do it together, holding hands side by side, cheeks to cheeks.

After my accident, Taesha always visited me and checked on me. He didn't go back yet to the dorm, but I gave him time and space to rethink accepting me again. While giving him those, I also took that opportunity to think. I am trying to picture what would happen if Taesha did what I did. What if I am the one who is on the receiving end? What if he was the one who cheated? Can I make it? Can I take it?

One answer is certain. No. I can't live without him. I can't move forward without him.

We were already engaged when I cheated on him. We agreed to share our vows together a couple of months ago, before he left me. Before it all happened. Before our world collapsed.

He agreed to be my husband. To be Jeon Taesha. I am the one who proposed. I am the one who asked him to walk with me, given our sexuality, not down the aisle but towards infinity.

But I broke him. And that's the most difficult struggle of my life. Winning him back. Make him agree to still marry me. Make him my husband. Be my husband. Because of everything that happened, I was so nervous about how I would win him back.

I was defeated by my jealousy and my own nightmare when I watched the video of him and Hyung hugging each other. I didn't think objectively, and I have to admit that I was scared that he would leave for another man. I regret hurting him over and over again. That's what I regretted the most.

A few days after my accident, we traveled to Finland for our winter package shoot. Though we've gone better, Taesha still avoided me and chose to be alone. He always walks either ahead of us or behind us, alone. He always chose to be on his own, even in the car. He kept his distance from us and always slept whenever it was possible. And I gave him what he wanted. Even if it hurts me.