'maybe we'll meet again in a different universe.'
he was sick but why was that my problem?
i tried my best to help him but nothing seemed to help, so why do we try help the sick hopeless people?
(ongoing : NOT a SHIP story - the duo is hyunjin & fe...
Hm what else does this painting need? Do I need to add anything or is it ok so far? I think I'm just going carry on painting him.. Honestly I'm not sure if Felix will like this since I'm using the picture of him crying as my reference.. Gosh I should've chosen a different picture! It's too late to change my whole idea now...
"Hyunjin can you help me with something-?"
What the hell, who is that!?
"Ah! Gosh you scared me..."
Why didn't he knock? Gosh I thought someone broke into my house for a second... Wait he's gonna see the painting, no!
"Hm, what are you painting?"
"Oh that's nothing, don't worry!"
"Woah it's so pretty! You're so good at painting Hyune."
"Mhm thanks..! Anyway what do you need help with?"
Can he just hurry up and tell me already.
"Oh it's not a rush-! Woah did you paint that?"
"Uh yeah... Just tell me what you need help with!?"
He came in so abruptly ; it must be important. He's gonna figure out that I'm painting him!
"Hm is that me? Was that what you was painting?"
"W-what!? Give me my phone back!"
This is too embarrassing... I swear he was sick, why has he got so much energy and now from all times ; now!? Felix came in here to ask me for help not to admire my artworks!
"J-just go! I'll help you later, yeah???"
Now that I've ushered him out of my room I can't shake the feeling that maybe I hurt him..? Was I too rough on his fragile body? I hope not. Gosh that was too embarrassing, what was he thinking!? He could've at least tried to play it cool ; he's so clueless! Are my cheeks getting red?! Ah my face is all hot, this is way too embarrassing..! I'm going to continue painting now, wait he didn't tell me what he needed help with..? Ahhh now I'm curious!
Felix's POV :
I didn't even get to ask if he would help me put my textbooks away..! God that's annoying. Hm I wonder why he got so embarrassed? He was just painting me ; Honestly, I don't find it embarrassing well to me it's actually quite heartwarming! I mean his paintings are really cool like they are insane, Hyunjin's attention to detail is so interesting in a sense! Aw, I hope I didn't discourage him ; that would be the worse, it looked like that painting took hours to paint and it wasn't even finished yet.. I don't understand why he would want to paint me from all people he choose me!? I'm not that special ; I'm just like everyone else but I know that I'm actually not, because I have a higher chance of dying. I don't wanna think about that so I'm going to listen to music ; I hate thinking of it! This isn't helping.. I still can't shake the fact that I'm going to die, I really don't want to.. Every time the thought of my own death crosses my mind I tell myself that it's my fault because of this one question ; Why couldn't you fight for longer? There's no valid and explainable answer to that question which means when I die it's going to be my fault. How selfish.
Gosh, I'm crying again.. I don't understand why I'm sick, I don't want to experience life with all this pain... Everything hurts and I hate it! I don't like crying because it takes up all my energy but just because I don't like it doesn't mean I'm not going to do it. My body really aches but I don't wanna call for Hyunjin or his mom because I know it will scare them.. It's unbelievably painful but maybe I can hold on for a little bit longer...
Hyunjin's POV :
Alright, I can finish this painting later ; I'll go see what Felix needed help with. I mean at least he thinks my painting of him is decent ; ah I'll stop worrying now!
"What did you need help with-?"
Is he crying!? Did he hurt himself while trying to do something!? Please no!
"Felix what's wrong?! Did you hurt yourself?!Hm? Show me?!"
Where are his pills!? They must help him!
"I-i don't wanna die, H-hyune..!"
"God, is that what you are upset about..?
He got all worked up because he was thinking about his passing. It must be so terrifying for him, it's upsetting because I can't help him in anyway. I don't know how it feels to be in the same situation as Felix ; that's the heartbreaking thing. I don't want to loose Felix, I seriously don't.. It's so hard to think about especially when he's thinking about it too.. He shouldn't have to worry about dying, he should be worrying about studies! He's only 16 ; how can he live like this? It must feel like death is just taunting you what I just can't imagine even the slightest.
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