Hyunjin's POV :
For the couple of days that Felix has spent with me I've just been focused on how his body is handling his worsening health condition and not his mental condition, he's so strong for being able to keep being so unbelievably brave during this tough cruel situation.. He hides how much his heart aches for his parents, he hides how much his body tries to slowly shut down and decline, he's in all of this agony yet his soul remains so peaceful.. I continue to rub his back in a response to comfort his quivering body as I start to feel a light smile manipulate itself onto my face. He seems to be enjoying my mother's jjajangmyeon ; it's a relief. Five minutes ago tears were flowing out of his irritated eyes pouring straight down onto his 'star-like' freckles. Whenever Felix does something noticeable like smiling or sobbing my mind only focuses on those bright 'stars' on his cheeks ; his freckles are like a tiny cluster of a star constellation on his face. There's this certain phrase that I use to describe his freckles.
'Your eyes couldn't contain all of the stars you were blessed with so the majority of them spilled out onto your face creating your beautiful freckles.'
I sat down opposite him, I'm catching my eyes shift their focus onto his constellation of freckles laying on his cheeks.
"T..thank you.. auntie..!"
"You're welcome sweetheart!"
Is he getting better? Has that extra dosage of medication actually providing him with some more strength..? Surely that extra dosage has a point ; has it succeeded in repairing an unhealthy part of Felix..? In the morning, Felix was hunched over the toilet seat : a painful liquid forcing itself out of his unwell body. Now it was dinner time and his jjajangmyeon was a product of a well-eaten meal ; for a sick person of course.. You know I have a strong 'hope', I hope that his stomach has adjusted to all this heavy food now so he can enjoy his most favourite foods without hesitation, without having to read the back or ask the chef how much sugar or something is in it.
"I..uh... I don't want to seem rude but is it alright if I go to my room..? I just want to get a good rest for s..school..!"
Is he seriously asking if he can go to sleep?
"Of course you can sweetheart! Hyunjin you should go up now or soon as well, you're a nightmare to wake up in the mornings!"
"Ah fine mom!"
Am I really that much trouble?
"Thank you auntie..! Goodnight~"
"Hey wait for me!"
I'm dreading school tomorrow, it's just so draining and the whole day I'm just going to feel anxious the whole day.. Luckily Felix shared all of his classes with me.
"Oh wait Hyune!"
What now..!?
"Yeah mom?"
"Tomorrow you and Felix need to go straight to Mr Yoon's office, okay honey?"
"Alright mom, goodnight..!"
"Goodnight honey.. Love you."
"Love you mom."
Go straight to Mr Yoon's office..? I wonder what that's all about.. Ah I'll just worry about it tomorrow! It's probably just about our classes or something petty ; it's genuinely not a huge deal to me.. I'm too sleepy to worry about Mr Yoon. Gosh, mom's jjajangmyeon has utterly ruined me..!! I throw myself onto my bed as I can feel my eyes giving weight, but no I can't fall asleep yet : I need to finish my painting. Now that I'm looking at it I feel like it doesn't really need anything else I'm worried that if I add more it might look 'clustered'.. I should just leave it. To get the night to pass through quicker I'll just go and talk to Felix for a bit, I really value late night conversations they just feel so special. You can get deep into a topic and discuss it for hours on end. I twist the door knob and peak my head into his room.
"You awake..?"
"Ah yeah.."
What a relief..!
"Why did you come in here so abruptly..?"
I can see his recognisable smile appear on his face as his fingers fidget with the bed sheet. I sit next to him ; his smile is so admirable..
"You're smile does something to me.."
His face just completely dropped and his eyes seem to become sort of.. frantic.. Did I say something wrong? Every time that boy lets free that stupid stupid smile of his that phrase runs through my head and I just can't shake it..! It was time that I finally let it out for him to hear, even if it was just once.
"...M..my.. smile..?..."
His tiny hands just won't ease that tight grip off the bed sheet.
"Yes Felix, your smile."
"D-don't say that..!"
I guess I did say something wrong.. I can tell from the way he is continuously shaking his head, it's like he wants to remove those 6 words from his vulnerable brain. I'm just gonna let out a satire giggle to try ease the thick tension..
"We have to go see Mr Yoon tomorrow morning, alright?"
"Oh okay.. I'm gonna rest now.."
Is that sweat dripping from his forehead..?
"Goodnight-"
I feel his clammy skin merge with the back of my hand, is it just me or is he burning up? I'm so awkward! Why did I just slam my hand onto his forehead without any warning..?!
"W-what..?"
"You're sweating."
His baby-like hands catch grasp of the end of his pyjama sleeve replacing the bed sheet.
"Ah.. I..I'm fine this happens all the time.."
"Really? Take your pills while I'm here."
By his unusual eye roll he looks frustrated by my forceful words. Sorry Lix.
"I'm not a baby.."
The sound of the pills rattling out of the bottle and into his hands are echoing in my mind like white noise.. He's not a baby, Hyunjin.
"That came out wrong.. Goodnight Lix..!"
He sighs.
"Goodnight Hyune.."
Hah, I caught him out! I close his bedroom door trying not to disturb anyone and melt into my bed for a second time ; I should actually go to sleep now. I have nothing to worry about! Felix has taken his pills, I have no homework due, I've just eaten jjajangmyeon and life couldn't be any better! Tonight will be a peaceful dream. All the other nights Felix has been staying here not one of my dreams have been about something which settles me.. I try to keep the outcome of Felix's death out of my head stored in the back, but at night that heavy situation I have a chance of experiencing creeps to the front of my thoughts to torment me.
₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ~
'Your eyes couldn't contain all of the stars you were blessed with
~ ˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.
so the majority of them spilled out onto your face
₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ~
creating your beautiful freckles.'
🌷🌼🌼
YOU ARE READING
lily of the valley 🌷˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ .
General Fiction'maybe we'll meet again in a different universe.' he was sick but why was that my problem? i tried my best to help him but nothing seemed to help, so why do we try help the sick hopeless people? (ongoing : NOT a SHIP story - the duo is hyunjin & fe...
