Hyunjin's POV :
"You should go back into your room now.."
That's so embarrassing, I just bawled my eyes out like I was going through the worlds hardest in-front of a dying 16 year old. It's not even that bad yet I'm dramatic!
"Why? I like watching you paint!"
"Hm?! If my mom catches catches you it won't be good, I'd rather take the blame."
"I'll just sleep on the floor then!"
Sleep on the floor? Is he seriously that dedicated..
"No! Do you want me to step on you?"
Silence. Complete silence.
"Just sleep on my bed, I'm pulling an all nighter anyways."
"Really? Thanks!"
Why would he want to stay in here? I'm going to be painting all night, won't it keep him awake? I don't care anyway!
It's already been a couple of hours since the argument with mom. Felix is passed out on my bed ; he looks so peaceful. What even is the time? 1am already..?! I'm starting to get sleepy but I'm going to push through it! Staying awake is honestly the best option right now.. Late night painting hits the spot, it's so peaceful and calming, I love it. I've only stayed up late because I wanted to paint a couple of times since artist lack of motivation is the worst... It's hard to get back into to painting and drawing if you're not constantly doing it, like I mean constantly, like no breaks.
Ah, I'm getting really tired now.. I don't wanna fall asleep but I know I'm going too soon, I keep slowly drifting off then waking myself up! I better put my paint brush back on the pallet I don't want mom to have another reason got her to yell at me, if I get paint on the floor I'm dead, like seriously dead!
"Hyunjin! Hwang Hyunjin, wake up right this second!"
Ah... Is that mom? I'm still half asleep, what does she want?! Can't she see Felix sleeping in my bed???!
"Y..Yeah..? Lower your voice, Felix is sleeping.."
"What is all this mess?! There is paint everywhere!"
"Huh..?"
Paint? I didn't leave paint anywhere..?
"Get up right now! Look around you!"
Oh gosh she was right.. My room is a mess and there's art supplies everywhere from last night.. Maybe I should've cleaned up..
"You better clean this mess up as well as scrubbing your room to get all this paint away, this room better be completely cleaned by the end of the day or all your art supplies are going in the trash!"
W..what?! She can't throw my art supplies away!? That's not how it works..! My eyes are starting to swell up again like last night.. I hate this so much! Why is mom so harsh? I get I made a big mess but it can easily be cleaned up.. God, am I crying again..? This is so pathetic ; I wanna run away. My life isn't that hard at all but I'm really sensitive, I can't hold all of this stress on-top of myself. I just feel worried and paranoid every day, what if I come home from school one day and all my art supplies are gone?! Mom hasn't even paid for them herself ; I have. My art teachers set me up for art classes to teach, I get a decent pay from them that supports my funds for art supplies! I've spent all my money on every single paint brush and paint tube in this room yet mom still thinks she has the right to throw all my valuables away!
I feel like I'm pulling my hair out whenever I argue with mom, it's suffocating. It's always the same thing too, I crouch down on up against the door or my bed and I just cry. Crying feels like the only thing I can do.
I hear a yawn coming from under the covers.
"M..morning Hyunjin.."
It's Felix, he sounds exhausted. I want to answer but I can't bring myself too so I continue crying louder hoping mom doesn't hear.
"Hyunjin..?"
"A-are you crying..?! What happened?"
Do I tell him I'm crying over something so pathetic? I can hear his prescription of pills rattling around the bottle as he places one into his hand, this is making me feel worse. The sound of his pills shaking around make me feel
like I'm even more pathetic than I originally had thought.
"Oh come here.."
Even though I couldn't see anything since my head was in my hands I could sense Felix's warm and oddly comforting aura slide next to me.. His arm gently wrapping itself around my back and pulling me closer into his delicate body.
"Why are you crying? Is it me..? I'm sorry, even if it's not my fault I feel bad that you are upset.. I hate seeing my best friend upset ; I just wanna see you smile a genuine smile!"
He's apologising for something what clearly isn't his fault. He thinks he's the problem. He doesn't know anything yet he wants me to be happy.. He really is my angel best friend.
"I'm sorry for putting all this pressure on you, you have to look after me, it's petty right? I'm 16 ; why can't I look after myself? I ask myself that too. Please be patient with me hm?"
My hands feel all sweaty from crying into my palms ; it's uncomfortable, Felix's smile seems to make that uncomfortable feeling completely disappear. He thinks it's him who's making me cry like this, I feel so guilty. I need to hurry up and say something, quickly.
"I-it's not you.."
"Even if it isn't me I'm still apologising."
"But w-why..?"
"I'm 16, why can't I look after myself Hyune?
You're a hopeless dying 16 year old Felix ; that's what I wanted to say.
"E-everyone needs care..!"
"Obviously you don't, you deal with your own problems ; I envy you."
He thinks I deal with my own problems but I don't, if I did I wouldn't be propped up against my bed sobbing.
"I don't! I'm sitting here crying because I'm afraid that my mom is going to ruin my dream, I'm so sensitive and I can't hold my tears inside of me for longer than a minute! Is that a carefree person to you?"
My tone is raising as I start to finish the sentence. The room is silent.
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YOU ARE READING
lily of the valley 🌷˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ .
General Fiction'maybe we'll meet again in a different universe.' he was sick but why was that my problem? i tried my best to help him but nothing seemed to help, so why do we try help the sick hopeless people? (ongoing : NOT a SHIP story - the duo is hyunjin & fe...
