lily of the valley 🌷˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ .

12 🌼

Felix's POV :

What kind of dream was that?! I can feel tense sweat drip down my forehead, my heart seems to race 20 times faster than before! It's like I can still smell the presence of pollen stuck inside of my nose even though in reality I never visited that field ; I was in the comfort of my bed during that awful degrading dream.. Hyunjin's sweet innocent face just.. lingers in my brain like an everlasting scent. I shut my eyes in a state of relief, gosh I'm so happy that's over with.. What is that noise..? As my ears adjust to the muffled sound I can hear the faint sound of music playing, was it Hyunjin? Those lyrics sound so so familiar..?

"Cause there'll be no sunlight~"

Ah, it's Bruno Mars! I know that it definitely is since Hyunjin really loves his music, I always catch him softly humming the lyrics during classes ; to me it's quite peaceful yet funny. Is he singing or is that the song..? My brain is to tired to recognise my question straight away. His singing voice sounds so beautiful.. so delicate to my ears..

"And for you ; I'll try, I'll try, I'll try, I'll try, I'll try~"

I can't help but giggle ; no matter how admirable his singing voice will sound to me I'll still let out a giggle! Does he not realise how loud he's being right now..? After actually getting a decent rest I'm feeling just a tiny bit better, I still feel like an important chunk of myself is missing but it's less noticeable now ; that's a gigantic relief for me, Hyunjin and Auntie. I can't shake that feeling, that feeling caused by that cryptic dream.. His eyes hid a deep layer of desperation inside of them yet they also hid a thinner layer of frustration inside of them.. What does this mean..? I never remember my dreams so why do I remember this one so distinctively?? Hyunjin's deep stare into my teary sore eyes just sticks with me ; it seems to alarm me.

'Your smile does something to me..'

I can feel the hairs on my tepid back stand up as a shiver runs down my whole entire body. My smile..?

Hyunjin's POV :

Three days of work and it's finally completed! I have something to be proud of now, how exciting! I genuinely can't wait to see Felix's reaction to this painting, his eyes will light up immediately and that's when I will know that he's the happiest boy alive. Seeing all of his silent yet alarming struggles seems to leave incurable deep wounds in my heart, all the memories of him having that sunshine aura around him were left in the back of my mind to reappear whenever Felix let his struggles free, trying to remind me that underneath the skin of that 16 year old hopeless boy there was a figure of sunshine trying to peek through. The optimistic memories trying to get drowned out by the majority of sinful memories ; I despise it heavily. Bottles of luminous pills stacked up on Felix's desk and on the kitchen counter, they taunt me making sure that I know that Felix is ill. His vulnerable hands tremble whenever something as light as a feather touches his hand, I watch his pasty pale hand try to ease itself whenever he takes a bit of food, then I realise that I can't watch this site anymore. Among his deathly sick face his vivid freckles always stay his charming point ; those freckles join together like an astronomical site. Discomfort takes over his smile but Felix easily hides that discomfort with a welcoming sense of relief, I wish that I can see his vitamin-like smile more.

"Sweetheart?"

My thoughts have been disrupted by mom, I wonder what's wrong?

"Yes?"

"Can you please go to the convenience store for me? I just need you to grab me some drinks for dinner!"

"Oh yeah sure!"

I can see the faint almost invisible wrinkles form around moms face ; that's when you know she appreciates your actions. I got up straight away because I'm actually a bit excited to go on a walk, I think it'll do me well! Is Felix not awake yet..? I guess he would be too exhausted to come out anyway, he needs a lengthy amount of time to recover and that's the best option for him! Taking his medication and resting up well, it's the cure to recovering your immune system~! As I open the door that humid but somehow refreshing air hits my face, I'm not going to deny that I love it.

"What drinks do you want mom?"

"Anything sweetheart! Just find some drinks that you and Felix enjoy~"

She always put me and Felix first instead of her, I know that my mom can be so inconsiderate sometimes but I still cherish and value her of course.. I've always had a strong ever-lasting bond with my mom even from when I was a baby I had always just stuck to my mom like glue! Felix is a mommy's boy but I can't deny for a second that I am too.

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ~ Memory ~ ˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

"Mommy!"

My eyes lit up as they caught a glimpse of the tanghulu stall across the street from me and my mom. A sweet treat was all I wanted after walking around in a shopping mall all day! My standard five year old self hated clothes shopping since all I cared about was toys. I tugged onto my moms baggy shirt sleeve begging for her attention, she looked down at my childish smiley face and her face instantly melted.

"Yes Hyune?"

"Mommy look!"

My miniature babyish hand pointed towards that tanghulu stall that my youthful brain craved.

"You want tanghulu , sweetie?"

My mom let out a small giggle abruptly stopping me from replying, that's when I knew that we was going to get tanghulu. My childhood trait was that I could get anyone to say yes to me because of my innocent face, my baby face just did something to everyone! Family and strangers included, so of course my soft hearted mom would say yes to me in a heartbeat and my little self took that for granted but I was just a child. I'm not trying to imply that five year old Hwang Hyunjin was a spoiled little brat because I was far from that ; I knew when to stop.

"What tanghulu does my baby Hyune want, hm~?"

"Strawberry~!"

The student running the stall took a liking to me fairly quickly like every other stranger we met, he carried a sweet kind conversation with my mom ; just the general stuff you would ask a mom. As I was in my mom's arms I could see the bright waves of happiness rush over her face whenever the student would ask her about me, she was proud of me even if I was at that young immature age ; Hwang Hyunjin his mom's golden trophy. My mom never let me eat tanghulu since it was way to sugary for my tiny body to comprehend, god I couldn't even eat a spoonful of Bingsu without turning into a hyperactive little demon.. That's why I was so over-joyed when my mom said yes, she only let me have two of the sugar covered strawberries but that was good enough for me.

"My Hyunjin, he's all mine!"

My mom planted a kiss onto my head and I giggled shyly.

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. my hyune.. all mine...

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