Hyunjin's POV :
I'm actually glad dinner is over ; it was kind of awkward in a way..? I just felt like I might've embarrassed Felix a bit, what's with all this worrying?! I really shouldn't be so fixated on Felix at the moment because I seriously don't want to hurt myself. I'm being selfish but I really really really can't stop it and I hate it! I don't want to hate it but oh well.. Is mom making dessert..? I hope not, I do not wanna experience that painful awkwardness again.. I'd do anything to stop it!
"Hyunjin have you cleaned your room?"
Oh no I totally forgot about doing that.. I was too busy painting, what do I do?!
"Uhh.. Well.. I was painting so I got distracted..."
"Distracted?"
"Yeah, sorry mom.."
"How comes you never listen to me? Always listening to your teachers but not your own mother?!"
"Mom it's not like that! I told you I just got really distracted, you know how much I've been wanting to complete that art piece in my bedroom..!"
"I'm not even going to say anything, just go to your room. It's getting late so both of you get some rest."
I know mom is angry but jeez! She knows how much dedication I've been putting into my artwork, she really doesn't get me. She always gets frustrated when I work on my art first instead of homework! I really just want someone to root for me because no one seems to care right now... I know it'll never happen since the only thing I'm decent at is Art ; that's pathetic to most people. Everyone but me seems to care.
I don't even care if she sent me to my room I like being in here! Gosh maybe I did slam the door quite loudly but who cares anyway?! You know what? I'm going to stay up all night long and continue painting! It is my dream to become an artist so why not? I always listen to my mom and that's a great thing but sometimes you have to break free, sometimes it's suffocating and stressful I feel like that's the point where you just have to do your own thing, otherwise you'll get sick.. Your mind will start spinning and going in directions you don't want it to follow ; no one wants to watch themselves go 'insane'.
Now I'm sat here just painting I can't help but think about the future, not someone else's future but my future! I want to become an artist so badly but I don't think I'll have the chance to become an artist. Mom is pushing me away from my dream and it's slowly draining me, she doesn't understand me at all.. It's so petty but so what? I don't care what other people say! That's a lie but if I remind myself this hopefully it'll encourage me to continue what I love doing. God am I crying? I love my mom but I don't understand why she's so suffocating?! It's my life, no one else's so why do I have to live by other peoples rules? I don't and that's the simple truth. Now that I've started crying I don't think I'll be able to stop for a long time, whenever something effects me I'll take it to heart. Maybe if I paint more it'll drown my sorrow's away!
Did someone just tap me or am I going insane?! I don't wanna turn around ; what if it's a serial killer??
"Hyunjin~?"
Does the ghost know my name?!
"Ah god! You scared me!"
It's just Felix.. Wait, why is he up?! It's like.. 9 PM! If my mom catches us we are dead.
"Shh! W..what are you doing awake..?"
"I don't really know..?"
"Are you crying?!"
What?! Was I crying like a baby this whole time???
"Don't cry.."
What is going on? My heart is all warm ; it feels nice for someone to comfort you. I'm just gonna spill all my emotions out here to Felix.
"What do I do? My mom doesn't even believe in me yet I still some how have hope that I'll become an artist.. I'm so pathetic!"
The tears just keep gushing out of my eyes, it's uncontrollable at this point...
"What do I do, Felix..?"
The warmth of his hands on my cold back makes me feel safer.. Like I can tell him anything!
"Why are you worrying? Just look at all your beautiful pieces of art..! Hyunjin you are so talented how can you not see it??"
Is he being for real? My art isn't that mind blowing, this is definitely out of pity.
"Don't listen to your mom and most importantly... Don't cry!"
His warm smile is so welcoming I just don't know how to explain it.. It's fascinating that a human can be so innocent in this cruel world.
🌼🌼🌼
YOU ARE READING
lily of the valley 🌷˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ .
General Fiction'maybe we'll meet again in a different universe.' he was sick but why was that my problem? i tried my best to help him but nothing seemed to help, so why do we try help the sick hopeless people? (ongoing : NOT a SHIP story - the duo is hyunjin & fe...
